Marysville Appeal-Democrat

Story of wrongful conviction is shared without permission

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I’m a gay man in my late

40s, partnered with a man in his late 50s. There are a lot of issues from my past that I try hard to move beyond and let go of. I was wrongly accused and convicted of a crime I didn’t commit, for which I was sentenced to life in prison.

I sat in prison seven years before I was able to prove my innocence and regain my freedom. Even then, I was forced to accept certain requiremen­ts to keep my freedom, regardless of being proven innocent. Unfortunat­ely, I’m finding it difficult because my partner keeps sharing my story with people who are complete strangers to me. When they meet me, the first words out of their mouths are things like: “You poor man, I’m so sorry,” or “Wow, I can’t believe you went through that,” and “Man, you must be a strong person to have gotten through that.”

How do I move past this, if he keeps telling people a story that is NOT his to tell, but mine to disclose if I choose to do so?

The shame and embarrassm­ent of facing this trauma of my past on a regular basis

by Bigar

(March 21-April 19):Today promises a variety of important emails and phone calls.you will be juggling several projects and appointmen­ts simultaneo­usly. Confirm plans with others to avoid confusion, and much is accomplish­ed.tonight: Your great capacity for problem-solving is in evidence.

(April 20-May 20):You will be able to make purchases you’ve longed for, and it will be possible to use money to generate true enjoyment. Just be cautious about over-extending yourself. Compare prices and remember to budget.tonight:your famous love for luxury is satiated.

(May 21-June 20):You’ll be enthused and motivated.today will conclude on a very upbeat note. Many worthwhile projects will -- finally -- be in the works. Be versatile and creative in applying your talents; your earning ability will blossom.tonight:a great sigh of relief.

(June 21-July 22):Answers and inspiratio­n come from within now. New appreciati­on of the peace and freedom of solitude develops today. Perform an anonymous act of kindness, and a deep sense of satisfacti­on comes.tonight:you would benefit from a change of scene.

(July 23-Aug. 22):Today finds your physical vitality improving. Depression lifts and your faith helps you carry plans forward. Helpful guidance comes from friends. It’s a good time to seek an opinion or request advice.tonight:a conversati­on can be very significan­t. Listen closely.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):Today is all about interactio­n with others. Remember the value of networking and improving your people skills. Maintain a balance between your personal and your profession­al life. Being well-rounded will better prepare you to reach your goals.tonight: Surround yourself with loving energies.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):A flair for style and a yearning for practical achievemen­t motivate you today.a plan for growth develops.you feel penetratin­g yet cautious. Keep your faith strong, but act independen­tly. Relationsh­ips between family members are mutually enjoyable.tonight: Contact a foreign friend.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Others tend to be generous if you seek financial advice or assistance.your sensitivit­y and thoughtful­ness win the loyalty of another.a message from a loved one who has passed on may comfort you.tonight:an early night of restful sleep.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Others have a different viewpoint regarding love. Communicat­e.you will prevail if you respect the perspectiv­e of those you are intimate with.there is much exploring and probing in progress.tonight:a wonderful isn’t healthy for me. How can I get him to understand that he needs to stop doing it?

I’m afraid to say anything to him about it. He dismisses my feelings most of the time when I bring up things he does that upset me.

I love this man with all of my heart. He was one of only two people who stood by me during my trauma and made it possible to prove my innocence. He was also my “first.” My love for him has only grown over the years, but this issue of my story being revealed has to stop.

You not only have to speak up, but you also have to be heard. That your much older partner dismisses your feelings is controllin­g and condescend­ing. He has no right to disclose VERY personal informatio­n about you with strangers.

You wrote that this is your first relationsh­ip. If this continues, it may not be your last. Present it to your partner in exactly these terms. Couples counseling may save your relationsh­ip, but only if the balance of power is adjusted.

Astrology

dinner date with a loved one.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sunlight carries healthgivi­ng and antiseptic properties. Be aware of how the quality of light in your home is affecting you and adjust it until it’s ideal. You’ll be amazed at how proper lighting enhances your well-being.tonight: Meditate by the light of a favorite lamp.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Develop your creative potential. Purchase an attractive journal and matching pen to record your ideas.they’re likely to be too good to let them fall by the wayside.artistic endeavors of all kinds will flourish today. Tonight: Be patient; success comes.

(Feb. 19-March 20): Special projects can lead to a new career emphasis.you’ll play host to visitors. Home improvemen­ts can be planned. Experiment with bold, bright colors. Children have much to teach you and can be a catalyst for change.tonight:a new competitiv­e quality develops.

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