Family estrangement is hard to explain to kids

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who has been through a lot. I grew up thinking my grandmother was my mother, my mother was my sister, my uncle was my brother, and my own siblings my nieces and nephews. A “family issue” brought it all out in the open, and now I am estranged from my family.

My grandmother who adopted me passed away a few years ago. The issue was lies and the fact that I was molested, which is why my grandmother stepped in. How do I explain to my children, 6 and 9, that we don’t have family on my side? They have been asking because my husband is very close with his own family. – ESTRANGED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ESTRANGED: Your family situation is complicated, and I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to reveal the details until your children are quite a bit more mature. Lies, cover-ups and child molestation are valid reasons to have distanced yourself.

In the meantime, tell them you will explain when they are older. At some point

by Bigar

(March 21-April 19):A chance encounter will make you more curious about your family tree. Browse and register on ancestry websites.you will discover where your roots lie, but step back if searching becomes too obsessive.tonight: Create a healthy eating plan.

(April 20-May 20): Speak up, and people will take you seriously. If you are insecure about your abilities, just be passionate and honest about what you want to say. Practice in front of the mirror.you’ll become more confident.tonight: Sing along to oldies.

(May 21-June 20): Extra expenses can impact your spending habits.take a break from buying on credit, and you’ll be in the black sooner than you think. No more eating on the run.take time to savor your food.tonight: Fun with friends.

(June 21-July 22): Get out of your comfort zone. Do something you haven’t tried before. It could be something simple like changing your exercise routine, shopping at a new venue, or trying a food that has negative associations from the past. Tonight:yummy dessert.

(July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t fret if you are more introspective than usual. Get a raincheck on an invitation to lunch or dinner. Take advantage of your philosophical mood.turn thoughts into a blog that you share with a special few people.tonight: Be apologetic.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):Avoid controversial discussions at work and at home. Meet up with friends later who love to laugh at the drop of a hat. Exchange jokes, funny stories and light gossip. Listen to what others have to say.tonight: Bedtime reading.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Make a plan today and follow it through. Don’t think about other things you’d rather be doing. Choose time management over procrastination. Look up a former co-worker you’ve been meaning to contact. Exchange ideas about a possible collaboration.tonight: Children’s hour.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):Today could fill you with nostalgia about school days. Get out your yearbook or alumni newsletter. Look up old friends online. Be prepared to be happy and sad about what they are doing.tonight:watch a video and laugh out loud.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Earning more money is on your mind. Pursue a side retail business with friends whose judgment and honesty you trust. Begin by selling clothes that no longer fit on ebay or Etsy and see how it progresses.tonight: they may need the information in case any of your relatives try to contact them in the future.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old woman. For once in my life, my hair is long, about elbow length. My son visits me about once every three months because he lives an hour’s drive away. Today when he arrived, the first words out of his mouth were, “You look like a witch!” It made me feel very sad. He then proceeded to tell me no one over the age of 40 should wear long hair. What do you think? I’ve always been neat and clean. – SAD MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR SAD MOM: I think that at age 64, you can wear your hair any way you like it. Many women (and men) have allowed their hair to grow since the pandemic began, regardless of age. (I happen to know an 85-year-old woman whose lush, shiny hair is down to the middle of her back, and she looks great.) If you like your hair long, keep it that way. Do not allow your tactless son to be your fashion arbiter. Go, Rapunzel!

Astrology

Family discussions.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Compromise should not be too difficult today. Be on the alert, as someone close may call on you for an objective opinion. Be tactful since you do not want to offend those you love.tonight: Romance leads the way.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Fresh air and light exercise serve you well since you have been paying more attention to your health and well-being. Prepare fresh fruit platters and salad. Find condiments and dressings that are low-cal but tasty.tonight: Discuss summer plans.

(Feb. 19-March 20):A nostalgic memory can reignite a creative passion from your childhood or teenage years.take a class or join a group to test out your talent. Communicate with someone you meet whose artistic tastes mirror your own. Tonight: Play mood music.