Family steers complexities Asperger’s syndrome

DEAR ABBY: I’m a minor living at home with my parents and my brother. Everything’s pretty stable. Mom works, but she isn’t gone all the time or anything like that. However, I have a lot of problems with my dad. He has Asperger’s syndrome, and his behavior has caused many issues for me. The least of them is that every time I try to talk about any concern I have (with him or not involving him), he takes it personally and makes it all about himself. This and other emotionally invalidating behaviors have been happening for as long as I can remember, and it makes me feel guilty about my feelings. I have been going to therapy to deal with my father problems, along with other mental health issues. My therapist has been encouraging me to feel sympathy for how much anxiety my dad has to deal with. Mom tells me he really does love me and it’s just the

by Bigar

(March 21-April 19): Keep an eye on your money and possessions today, because something unexpected will impact them. You might find money; you might lose money. Be proactive and protect what you own against loss, theft or damage. Meanwhile, be patient with partners (especially with ex-partners back on the scene). Tonight: Check your finances.

(April 20-May 20): Today the Moon is in your sign lined up with unpredictable Uranus, which will make you feel impulsive, even erratic. Therefore, guard against knee-jerk reactions. Take a moment to consciously think and be calm before you say or do anything. Tonight: Patience.

(May 21-June 20): This is a restless day for you! Something unexpected might suddenly occur. A secret might be revealed. Surprises might take place behind the scenes. This might even relate to old flames who are coming back into your life now and in the next few weeks. Tonight: Relax.

(June 21-July 22): A friend will surprise you today. Get ready for this. Or possibly you will meet someone new who is a real character -- someone who is bohemian, avant-garde or unusual in some way. This might happen through your family because so much is going on right now at home. Tonight: Be friendly.

(July 23-Aug. 22): Be careful when dealing with bosses, parents, teachers and VIPS today (including the police), because something unpredictable could suddenly happen. They might do something or say something that catches you off guard. When dealing with authority figures, never underestimate the power of courtesy. Tonight: Be prepared.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Travel plans might change today. Or perhaps you will suddenly have to travel when you did not expect to do so. You might meet someone who is unusual, perhaps from another country or a different culture. Something unexpected might broaden your knowledge of events. Tonight: Do something different!

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Double-check your finances and anything to do with banking, because something unexpected could impact these areas. This includes financial arrangements about shared property and inheritances. With Mars and the Sun in your sign, you will have no trouble defending your best interests. Tonight: Banking details?

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Stay light on your feet today, because someone close to you will surprise you or throw you a curveball. It could be a sudden argument. They might want a new arrangement, perhaps more freedom in the relationship. It could be as minor as meeting someone unusual. Tonight: Be mellow.

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Asperger’s syndrome that is getting in the way. But I’m tired of hearing about how hard things are for him, and I don’t think I should pay him any respect for his feelings if he doesn’t give me any. His behavior is especially hurtful while I’m struggling with various mental health issues. Do you have any advice? -- GIRL IN TURMOIL

DEAR GIRL: Yes, I do. Listen more carefully to what your therapist is trying to convey. You share something in common with your father; you both have diagnosed mental disorders. What you expect from him may be beyond his ABILITY to give. This is a sad situation, but the sooner you accept it, the less often you will look to your father for the emotional support he is unable to provide. When you need to discuss your issues, talk to your mother or your therapist, and you may find the support you are seeking.

Astrology

computer problems, equipment breakdowns or some other reason. If you can, get as much done as possible so you are prepared for some downtime or unexpected delays. Tonight: Relax.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Parents should know that this is a mildly accident-prone day for their kids, which means they should be extra vigilant today. Meanwhile, a surprise invitation might come your way. If so, act quickly, because this window of opportunity will be brief. Or perhaps social plans will be canceled. Tonight: Stay flexible.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your home routine will be interrupted today because a small appliance might break down or a minor breakage could occur. Perhaps someone unexpected will knock on your door. Do what you can to keep the peace and avoid domestic arguments. Tonight: Stay chill.

(Feb. 19-March 20): Pay attention to everything you say and do, because this is a mildly accident-prone day. Obviously, an accident does not have to happen if you are aware and mindful. Meanwhile, expect to hear unexpected news and meet new people. An unexpected short trip might occur. Tonight: Be alert.