Marysville Appeal-Democrat

Man professes love to wife and ex

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for eight years. I love my wife with my heart and soul. The problem is, although I’m in love with her, I still love my ex-wife. I never actually expressed these feelings toward my ex until recently. I write to her and call her, hoping she will answer. I don’t want to leave my wife because she’s a good woman. But so was my ex. What can I do?

Every time my wife and I have a disagreeme­nt, I start thinking about my ex and what life would’ve been like if I had stayed with her. I find myself thinking about her more and more often each day. I know my ex still loves me, although she won’t come out and say it. Is it OK to be in love with one and still love the other? -- LOTS OF LOVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOTS: May I inject a sliver of reality into your fantasy? You say you “know” your ex-wife still loves you although she won’t come out and say it, nor does she answer your passionate letters. I’d say her refusal to communicat­e sends a pretty strong message that she doesn’t feel the way you do.

I don’t know what is wrong in your current marriage, but if you don’t stop pining over the wife you dumped, you are going to lose this one, too. Counseling may help you accomplish this, and it is what I strongly recommend. Start now. ***

DEAR ABBY: I am a single man who recently turned 40. I am looking to find a wife who, like myself, has never been married and has no kids. I joined several dating websites, but most of the women are divorced or widowed or have kids.

I just discovered a new dating website for single, never married people. I’m not sure if I should join it, but having a website designed for people like me is a great idea. I have read that 25% of all Americans have never been married. Pew Research just reported a brand-new poll and millions of Americans have never been married, so I am not losing hope. Should I join? -- CONTEMPLAT­ING IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONTEMPLAT­ING: By all means, explore that new dating site. When you do, expect to meet women who are considerab­ly younger than you. Remember, however, that once you connect, you will have to take all of the precaution­s that people on other sites do to ensure that you do not get misled. Dating, regardless of how you meet someone, can be risky. I wish you luck.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a single man who recently turned 40. I am looking to find a wife who, like myself, has never been married and has no kids. I joined several dating websites, but most of the women are divorced or widowed or have kids.

I just discovered a new dating website for single, never married people. I’m not sure if I should join it, but having a website designed for people like me is a great idea. I have read that 25% of all Americans have never been married. Pew Research just reported a brand-new poll and millions of Americans have never been married, so I am not losing hope. Should I join? -- CONTEMPLAT­ING IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONTEMPLAT­ING: By all means, explore that new dating site. When you do, expect to meet women who are considerab­ly younger than you. Remember, however, that once you connect, you will have to take all of the precaution­s that people on other sites do to ensure that you do not get misled. Dating, regardless of how you meet someone, can be risky. I wish you luck.

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DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a big lower-class family in which there has always been drama, fights, gossip, etc. I made a vow to myself that when I had my own family, I would raise them better. I keep myself and my children distanced from all of that. Am I wrong for keeping them away from my family? -SEPARATE IN CHICAGO

DEAR SEPARATE: As a parent, your responsibi­lity is to protect your children. If you feel exposing them to something might be harmful, you are within your rights to keep them away. However, if you are raising your children in a healthy environmen­t, exposing them to your family drama in limited doses isn’t likely to be harmful.

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