Grieving friend produces off-the-wall accusations

DEAR ABBY: I am a happy, decidedly single woman with a large group of friends who are all married. Most of us grew up together, and all of us have been like extended family for the past 25 years.

This year, one of the wives lost three family members within three months. This has been devastating to her, of course, as well as to all of us as we watch her struggle to regain her footing in this new reality. I know firsthand the pain she’s living with.

My problem is, she has started accusing me of having an affair with her husband. Nothing could be further from the truth! I’m torn between trying to remember she is angry and lashing out from her losses and being deeply insulted and angry at her.

I am shocked that she could think such a thing. We see each other often, and I don’t know how to treat her. -FRIEND OR FOE IN NEW YORK

DEAR FRIEND OR FOE: I am concerned for your friend. Are you sure she doesn’t have other emotional or marital problems besides her grief? That she would accuse you of having an affair with her husband when nothing of the sort is happening could be a clue that something is wrong ... with her.

Treat her with kindness and suggest that she should talk with a marriage counselor if she feels something has gone wrong in her marriage, because if it’s true, it has nothing to do with you.