THE 6-FOOT CHAIN SAW
Forget HGH: The ultimate testosterone boost comes from slicing through a mile-high oak with a screaming chain saw. Packing an 8.6-hp engine, the 22-pound Stihl MS 880 Magnum is the fiercest commercial model around, able to chew through any trunk in its path. When fitted with a 59-inch blade, this gas-powered feller can slice through trees up to five feet thick—in little more than a single swipe. Wield it and you’ll become so power mad you won’t stop until you clear-cut the backyard. Be warned: Anti-vibration tech reduces the shakes, but all that oomph still makes it kick like an ill-tempered bull.
From $1,800; stihlusa.com