Ray Liotta
The eternal goodfella, co-starring in the upcoming Sopranos prequel, The Many Saints of Newark, on the pitfalls of Hollywood, fearing the unknown, and going with the gray.
The eternal goodfella on the pitfalls of Hollywood, fearing the unknown, fatherhood, and going with the gray.
What’s the best advice you ever received? It was never one single conversation, but it was just watching the way my dad lived and learning the way he looked at things that turned out to be the best advice. He had an automotive store in Jersey City, New Jersey, and it seemed like it got robbed every week. But he had this attitude of not ever being too shaken up by it—stuff happens, you’ve got to deal with it. What else can you do?
How did being adopted shape your life? As I got older, I cared less about it, but I always looked at it as being given up, not like I was special and that somebody wanted me. I felt like I was damaged goods, and I would wear that on my sleeve. When I would try to hit on a girl, I would use it—“poor little me, I was given up.” But when I did meet my birth mom at the age of 44 and found out the whole story—that she had already been abandoned and thought I would be better off—i was already over it. I realized my life would never be what it is if I hadn’t been adopted. My parents were great, and I really lucked out. I’m thankful to my birth mother for putting me up for adoption.
What have you learned from fatherhood? It’s made me a better actor and a better person because it made me more understanding of people. I got divorced when my daughter, Karsen, was 4. I didn’t have her until later in life, and I never found anybody to have more kids with, but I love being a dad. Fatherhood opens up your capacity to love. In the grand scheme of things, that’s really what it’s all about: helping other people. What other point could there be?
How should a man handle getting older? Just go with it, because it’s a reality that you can’t fight. You still take care of yourself and exercise, but go with the gray. It’s not a bad look.
Is there a key to survival in Hollywood? Early on, I was seduced by all of the clubs. The scene in the ’70s and the ’80s was nutty. People were doing all kinds of drugs and it was a very confusing time. I wasn’t half as bad as some of these stories you hear, but you have to be careful not to be idle for too long
What career advice would you give the younger you? That “making it” means getting to work with the people who are at the top of their game. There’s nothing more exhilarating than that. The best directors I’ve worked with, whether it was Marty Scorsese, Ridley Scott, or Jonathan Demme, have all had a real excitement about putting a makebelieve situation onscreen and making it seem real. That’s why it blows my mind when egotistical actors behave like the world revolves around them. You play make-believe: What are you acting like a dick for? Ninety percent of the time you read things that actors say or do, or you watch them on a talk show, and it’s like, “Oh, my God, shut the fuck up. Stop talking.”
What role should religion play in a person’s life? I think religion is more of a way of controlling, and consoling, people. Still, to this day the thought of what’s out there scares the shit out of me, but that’s only because I don’t have a real belief. My mom died in my arms, and my dad died in front of me, and that shook me. The older that I get, the more I want to believe something is out there.