In coronavirus era, families are staying in touch with FaceTime chats
Nothing replaces a hug, a kiss, the simple brush of fingertips across an extended hand, but most of us have been forced to find replacements now that the novel coronavirus has turned the comfort of touch into a dangerous and clandestine act.
I have Zoom conferenced with friends and WhatsApped with cousins across the Atlantic, but my daily go-to — my soulsaving, depression-busting form of communication — is FaceTime. In fact, I’ve been talking to my grandchildren more than I ever did pre-COVID 19. Now that dance classes, lacrosse practices, orthodontist visits and speech therapy sessions have been either canceled or moved to a virtual dimension, the kiddies have more free time. And I’m taking advantage; oh, am I ever.
I suspect I’m not the only one. Whether our loved ones live in another state or just across town, we all crave connection in times of trouble. We want to see familiar faces and hear recognizable voices, even if it’s in a little box, even if we know that we’ll slip into a funk after we hang up.
That said, I’ve realized that FaceTiming kids isn’t without pitfalls. While connecting across the miles, I’ve gone into dark closets, heard toilets flush, peeked into messy drawers, witnessed hair-pulling, and stared at more ceilings than I care to remember. My darlings apparently take the phone with them wherever they go, not a thought of propriety or precaution to stop them.
The 5-year-old, for instance, loves running down the hall, her mother’s smartphone bump-bumping along for the ride.
“You wouldn’t believe what I got!” she shrieks.
Her disembodied voice doesn’t match anything we’re seeing. White wall and tile floor streak across the screen, a hodge-podge of colors and corners. The effect is Pirate Ship meets Tilt-a-Whirl, and I’m slightly dizzy.
“Stop! Stop!” I call out to her, but she’s not listening.
Finally, her sweet face reappears onscreen, and her smile is wide and her bangs too long and her teeth as perfect as baby teeth can be, and I’m full of an overwhelming emotion that is more than love, more than pleasure.
“See my unicorn?” she asks.
I do, I do. It’s really glittery, and I completely understand why she’s so proud of it.
In another FaceTime session, her older sister points the phone at a gap along her bottom gums.
She’s lost a tooth, and she couldn’t be more pleased. Or richer. The Tooth Fairy, who apparently doesn’t have to wear gloves or face shield when she flies around the world, left a whopping five bucks under her pillow. Though she’s flushed with cash, she appears to be more interested in other matters.
Using the screen as a mirror, she examines the cavernous depths of her mouth and then the darkness of her left nostril with slow determination. When I remind her I’m watching, she says “Nothing there” with such little guile that I crack up. The next time we speak I get a tour of her toenails, polished in different colors. I thank her for the anatomy lesson.
Speaking of lessons: FaceTiming with kids is a tutorial in technology — and a reminder that no matter how tech savvy I think I am, no matter how many YouTube videos I watch or social media platforms I master, a kid who can’t drive will always know more than I do. It’s just the nature of the world we live in.
I’m happy to report that I can now FaceTime more than one person at a time, and I learned this nifty trick from another one of my grandkids, the 8-yearold who patiently walked me through the steps.
“Now, Buela, see where you have those buttons to mute or flip the camera?” The tone of her voice is professional, teacher-y. “Uh-huh.”
“Scroll it up with your finger and it’ll give you several options. Hit the one that says add a caller.”
Yes! There it is! I’m so proud of myself. Who says sheltering-in-place has to be confining?
Ana Veciana-Suarez writes about family and social issues. Email her at avecianasuarez@gmail.com or visit her website anavecianasuarez.com. Follow @AnaVeciana.