Parkland father Fred Guttenberg writes book on his ‘helpers’
Since his 14-year-old daughter was killed in the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School more than two years ago, Fred Guttenberg has spent much of his time chronicling the stories of his “helpers.”
In his view, these are the people — or his pet dogs, as he describes in one case — who have offered him kindness, have helped him through insurmountable loss, and have helped him find a purpose since his daughter, Jaime Guttenberg, a freshman, was murdered along with 16 other students and staff members of the Parkland high school on Feb. 14, 2018.
On Tuesday, Guttenberg will celebrate the launch of his first book, “Find The Helpers,” which is both about learning to live through grief and a collection of autobiographical anecdotes he has kept over time. In his book, he talks about his path into activism against the gun lobby and learning to play an unexpected role in politics, at times being thrust into the national spotlight.
The title of his book is based on a quote by the late Fred Rogers, better known by his TV personality name Mister Rogers, who said in an interview in 1999 that his mother used to tell him that in light of tragedy, he should “always look for the helpers” to find hope.
“Every day, I was writing down things that were happening,” said Guttenberg in an interview with the Miami Herald. “What became clear is that my story was much bigger than me... I don’t get through what happened to my family without these people.”
Throughout his book, he speaks of the “expected” and the “unexpected” helpers, from funeral home staff who tried to minimize the load of paperwork his family would have to labor through and first responders who made sure to keep the family informed.
Four months before the Parkland school shooting,
Guttenberg explains his family was already grieving the loss of his brother, who died of pancreatic cancer stemming back to his service during 9/11 as a deputy medical director for the New York City Fire Department.
“When my daughter was killed, my family was already in mourning,” Guttenberg said. “My story didn’t really start there.”
Since Jaime’s death, however, Guttenberg describes his journey as he has had to come to terms with the challenges of using his platform to speak out about gun safety.
“I live with a guilt, that I didn’t do this before it was my daughter, that is overwhelming,” Guttenberg said. “Everything that I do every day, is a response of what happened to my daughter.”
Also among the Guttenbergs’ unexpected helpers have been powerful politicians like U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California.
He explains that the evening he was notably escorted out of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address in February, for example, his wife Jennifer and his son Jesse were unable to reach him, which triggered memories of failing to reach Jaime the day she died.
After his outburst, which was in response to the president’s defense of the Second Amendment, he issued a public apology and apologized to the person who invited him, Pelosi.
But instead, to his surprise, she asked him to never stop speaking out.
“I’m a relentless pain in the ass, and I won’t shut up and I won’t go away,” said Guttenberg.
In his book, Guttenberg also does not shy away from his support for Democratic presidential nominee former Vice President Joe Biden, whom he praises for his empathy, and his belief that a Biden presidency and a Democratic Senate can make gun safety “the law of the land.”
“There’s an occupant in the White House now who has shown that democracy relies on … people who believe in it,” he said. “If someone doesn’t believe in the traditions and the laws, you can shred it.”
“I will do anything for [the Biden] campaign that they think will be helpful,” he said.
Guttenberg says many parts of the book were difficult to get through, namely the retelling of what happened the day that Jaime died. After all, there is much left to be resolved about the police response, Guttenberg argues.
Last month, a U.S. District judge ruled a lawsuit filed by parents of Parkland victims, including Guttenberg, against the
FBI’s handling of the shooting can move forward.
“The reality is the judge agreed with our position that the FBI had duties and that they failed,” he said. “This is now going to trial. We are now going to get our chance in a court of law, and we will win.”
But “Find the Helpers,” is also about finding who you can be a helper to, Guttenberg notes.
“I think about this pandemic that we’re going through right now,” he said.
And the people who’ve died as a result of COVID-19 infections: “They were sick alone. They died alone, and they were buried alone.
“For anyone who reads this book, keep remembering you’re strong and resilient, you don’t have to do anything alone.
“Rely on your helpers, always know who they are, but … always know who you can be a helper to.”