YOUR FACE ON A REAL POTATO
There was a time when an anti-flatulence device would not have been considered an appropriate holiday gift. Fortunately, that time has passed, which is why we are excited to include the Fart Vac in this year’s
Gift Guide.
This is a quality item, $21.99 from amazon.com Suggested by Sue Eckhardt of Gatesville, Texas, John Lobert of Simpsonville, S.C., and Janice Gelb of Melbourne, Australia
Technology has given humanity many wonderful gifts: space travel, Instagram, the George Foreman Grill... the list goes on and on. But until recently, there is one gift that technology could not give us, and it is something that we, as humans, have ardently desired for literally thousands of years: The ability to put a photograph of our face on a potato. made from 100 percent materials, which is based on a proven scientific principle that scientists call “suction.” You stick a rubber tube down your pants, and when a flatulence incident occurs, you squeeze a handheld bulb, which causes the suction to draw the odors into what the manufacturer describes as “an activated carbon filter,” which sounds very scientific.
The Fart Vac is extremely discreet. People will never know you’re using it, unless they happen to notice the bulb in your hand connected to the tube going into your pants. That’s why this is the only antiflatulence device endorsed by both Warren Buffett
and the U.S. Supreme Court.
Well humanity can rejoice, because our long nightmarish wait is over. Thanks to technology, you can now upload a photograph of your face, or the face of a friend, loved one or famous celebrity, and within a few days you will receive a real potato with the photograph printed on it. If somebody doesn’t win, at minimum, a Nobel Prize for this concept, then we frankly don’t see the point of even HAVING Nobel Prizes.
We don’t know if these photopotatoes are edible. But they are definitely tasteful.
The world is an extremely dangerous place. There are threats everywhere, and you need to be prepared for anything.