Should I make more of an effort to revive allure of Valentine’s Day?
Remember those Valentine’s Day cards you exchanged with classmates back in the day? The ones neatly folded into white envelopes, with simple earnest messages:
Be Mine!
You’re the best!
They were extra special if they were accompanied by a tiny, pastel-colored Brach heart stamped with an equally short, fervent messages. The taste of those candies — banana, orange, cherry and grape — never won me over, but their flavors were made less chalky when delivered by my crush of the moment.
I’m not much for valentines these days. I love The Hubby, of course. He’s a swell guy and I appreciate that he’s part of my life and firmly in my corner. He certainly deserves a Brach heart inscribed with U R GREAT. But I have no plans to offer him a gift of romance and appreciation. What would I get him anyway? Another power tool? A weekend trip with a fishing guide?
If the past is a predictor of the future, I doubt he’ll show up with flowers or a box of chocolates. For sure, he will present me with a sappy card. He seems to like those, and he might even whip up one of my favorite dishes, preferably lamb chops, usually reserved for memorable occasions.
I’m fine with this simplicity. Truly I am. I don’t see our lack of enthusiasm for this annual February celebration as an indicator of the strength of our relationship. In my book, day-to-day commitment ranks so much higher than a tennis bracelet.
And yet … And yet …
I’ve found myself wondering if, after so many years of marriage, I shouldn’t make more of an effort to revive the allure of Valentine’s Day. I clearly remember the anticipation of handing out — and receiving — from my classmates those small tokens of love or, at least, symbols of friendship. That excitement lasted well through adolescence and into young adulthood, before I surrendered to the onslaught of the day-to-day.
I’ve also been wondering about Valentine’s Day after reading that its popularity may be on the wane. According to the Morning Brew newsletter headline: “Valentine’s Day may be losing its mojo.” The story cites figures from the National Retail Federation that show the decline in the percentage of Americans who say they’re celebrating. In 2019, 63% did. This year, 53% plan to do so.
How did that happen?
Did Cupid fall asleep with his arrow?
Some might blame the drop on COVID-19, but that wouldn’t explain the decade-old trend. Or we could point the finger at demographics, more single people and fewer relationships. However, I doubt that explanation as well, namely because average spending, particularly on candy and jewelry, has been inching upward. Those are the kinds of gifts you purchase for a significant other, not necessarily a platonic friend.
I have another theory, an explanation that can be applied beyond Valentine’s Day to other holidays. At the risk of sounding Pollyannaish, I believe many of us have tired of the relentless commercialization of everything. No holiday is free of in-your-face sales promotions. In the past couple of weeks alone, for example, my email inbox has been clogged with announcements to buy-buybuy that essential gift for my loved one.
Tempted, I opened one such electronic missive this morning. It listed a strange medley of gift suggestions, from a $400 Dyson hairdryer to a $250 Hamilton Beach blender. Huh? How is any of that even romantic?
I don’t need more stuff. More importantly, I don’t want one more piece of jewelry or box of gourmet hand-made chocolates. (Wait, wait! Chocolates I might accept.) Rather, I want more time. I want more uncomplicated moments, unrehearsed and unplanned. I want unfettered days with those I love and cherish, The Hubby included. I want hugs, long, meaningful looks, a caress — gifts you can’t wrap or stuff in an envelope. Which is what makes them so infinitely precious.
Not much to ask for, right?
Ana Veciana-Suarez writes about family and social issues. Email her at avecianasuarez@gmail.com or visit her website anavecianasuarez.com. Follow @AnaVeciana.