Roommate’s presence complicates ‘benefits’

Dear Abby: I’ve been spending time with a certain gentleman for more than ive years. I am in love with him. We dated at irst, then became friends with bene its. He had another woman move in with him a few years ago, but we are still friends with bene its, and he has become my best friend. We talk several hours a day and text throughout the day.

I know in my heart we are meant to be together. He tells me he loves me but says he can’t ask the other woman to move out because she doesn’t have anywhere to go until the person living in her house moves out. How do I talk to him about this? — Other Woman

Dear Other Woman: Friends do not string friends along for years, which is what this “gentleman” has been doing to you.

He invited the other woman to move in because she is providing something he inds of value. If he wanted her out, he would ind a way to do it. During your next “hourslong” phone call, tell him that as much as you care for him, you can no longer continue to live in limbo.

Give him a deadline to get rid of his houseguest and, if he doesn’t, cut off his “bene its.”

Dear Abby: As a woman, I am infuriated by men of all ages who have to adjust their crotches all the time. Is there any way we can tell these men that what they’re doing is vulgar, and it’s rude to do this in public? Any ideas? — Infuriated in Topeka

Dear Infuriated: Dig deep and try to feel some sympathy. Because men’s genitalia are external, they sometimes get pinched in their clothing, which is uncomfortable. It’s only natural that they reflexively try to remedy the situation. Because it bothers you so much, try looking elsewhere.