New girlfriend nixes time spent with kids

Dear Abby: I’m recently divorced. We have two wonderful children ages 6 and

11. I try to spend as much time with them as possible because it’s important to me, even if it means spending time with my ex-wife.

The woman I am dating is also divorced. She has a bad relationship with her ex and doesn’t think I should spend any time with my ex, even if it’s for the sake of the kids. An example: My daughter’s birthday is coming up, and it is my ex’s day with the kids. However, we will be going out for a birthday dinner, and my girlfriend doesn’t think I should go.

I’m not torn about going to dinner. I am torn about how to deal with the new girlfriend regarding my relationship with my kids and ex-wife. Any suggestions? — Jeff in Michigan

Dear Jeff: What you have described is a huge red flag. Lose this girlfriend. She appears to be sel ish, and she will worsen your relationship with your ex and destroy your relationship with your children if she can.

Dear Abby: My partner and I have a long, loving relationship. But there’s always been this one little problem. When we’re out in public, I ask him to “please pull up your pants” and “please not put your hand down your pants.” He gets upset that I call him out on it, but it’s embarrassing. How can I stop him from letting his pants be a problem? (They are nice slacks with button, zipper and belt!) — Jane Doe in California

Dear Jane Doe: Buy your partner a pair of suspenders and insist that he wear them out in public with you. (It should lessen his need to put his hand down his pants, a habit that should have been “discouraged” before he entered kindergarten.)