Kobe tragedy casts shadow as Super Bowl Week kicks off
Super Bowl With a Smirk returns beginning here with daily needling jabs at the self-important NFL and the oversized gravitas of its big game. Flying under the banner, “Make Fun, Not War,” Smirk is an annual Super Bowl Week feature in the Miami Herald on years we remember to do it.
Ayear ago, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell arrived at the Super Bowl in Atlanta still flummoxed by the anthemkneeling mess and having to explain how the Saints were robbed from being there by game officials working with white canes and service dogs. Then the game itself was a colossal bore, the lowest scoring and dullest SB ever, with (yaawwn) the Patriots winning again.
So, welcome, America, to South Florida, where the Miami Super Bowl Host Committee’s motto for 2020 is, “We’re Bound To Be Better Than Last Year!”
As the league caps its 100th season with Kansas City vs. San Francisco in Super Bowl 54, Goodell will arrive in Miami carefree other than the epidemic of players retiring really young to avoid brain trauma injuries, and the somber pall cast over the sports world and his juego grande by Sunday’s tragic death of Kobe Bryant.
Advisory to Super Bowl players: Pretend like you knew Kobe personally or have a heartfelt response prepared because Your Friend the Media, always after an easy angle, will be unable to avoid pounding the “Kobe tragedy overshadows Super Bowl” storyline with relentless fervor.
Of course, Smirk would never do that.
Even amid a sports world in mourning, host Miami invites arriving football fans to still enjoy themselves this week ... but also to feel a tad guilty doing it.
The Chiefs and 49ers landed in Miami late Sunday, and Monday were to meet the national media in an “Opening Night” event at Marlins Park, a venue thoroughly unaccustomed to having two good teams in it.
The “NFL Experience” interactive theme park is now open at the Miami Beach Convention Center, where fans can get autographs, tour a Hall of Fame display, kick field goals, ogle the Vince Lombardi Trophy and run helmet-first into a brick wall to simulate the experience of a concussion. OK we made up that last one.
“I hate this Smirk column already.” — Rodney Barreto, chairman, Miami Super Bowl Host Committee.
Nightly “Super Bowl Live” concerts are taking place at Bayfront Park, featuring music by Oriente, Melton Mustafa, High Tolerance and many other acts Smirk also hasn’t heard of.
Dodged a bullet when the Packers failed to get here. Not because it wouldn’t have been exciting. Because those ubiquitous Aaron Rodgers/Patrick Mahomes Progressive insurance ads would have been running on a continuous loop.
Did you watch Sunday’s Pro Bowl game? Yeah, me neither.
Smirk prayed the Titans would be here. To watch Ryan Tannehill back in his old stadium? That too. But mainly so I could remind you Tennessee coach Mike Vrabel said he’d cut off his penis to win a Super Bowl.
Then we’d have had 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan saying, “I agree. I’d also cut off Vrabel’s penis to win a Super Bowl!”
Ticket giveaway! Two free Super Bowl tickets to the first person who correctly guesses what number Smirk is thinking of right now.
We’ll be referring to Super Bowl 54, by the way, not Super Bowl LIV. Two reasons: 1.) Don’t wish to inadvertently publicize Miami’s LIV nightclub. 2.) Miami Herald demographics indicate only 8 percent of readers are Ancient Romans. (Excuse me, do you have the time? “Yes I do. It’s VIII:XIX”).
Super Bowl Party Tip Du Jour: Surprise your guests by serving haggis, a Scottish dish consisting of minced sheep organs boiled in a sack made from the animal’s stomach lining. Let it cool, then knead the bilefilled casing into the shape of a football for a delightful presentation!
Greg Cote: 305-376-3492, @gregcote