Super Bowl ad stirs controversy — Mr. Peanut pulled
Super Bowl With a Smirk is back with the second of five daily needling jabs at the self-important NFL and the oversized gravitas of its big game. Flying under the banner, “Make Fun, Not War,” Smirk is an annual Super Bowl Week feature in the Miami Herald on years we remember to do it.
This year’s inventory of available Super Bowl TV commercials on Fox sold out in November, the earliest in five years. The ads will cost a record $5.6 million for a 30-second spot. Meaning the preceding sentence cost about $1.2 million to say. The Super Bowl commercials have become every bit as popular as the game itself — said no one, ever, except companies spending the dough.
Because the commercials are such a big part our Super Bowl Sunday experience we’d be remiss to not bring you this year’s major controversy: Mr. Peanut.
Planters famed mascot was to drive his Nutmobile over a cliff in an ad titled “Death of Mr. Peanut.” The company even launched a #RIPeanut hashtag. Planters still will run a thirdquarter spot Sunday, but a totally different one. Why? Sensitivity. Mr. Peanut’s demise was scrapped upon the tragedy involving Kobe Bryant. Although even before that the idea of killing off Mr. Peanut — who singlehandedly is keeping the monocle alive — struck a controversial chord with Planters fans.
There are no secrets anymore with SB ads. Instead of being a looked-forward-to surprise on Sunday night, there is anticlimax because most are pre-released and we’ve already seen them on YouTube. At least a dozen Sunday spots already are out there, such as a Cheetos ad starring MC Hammer, because Cheetos evidently forgot it was no longer ’90.
The betting over/under on commercials featuring a dog is 3 1⁄2.
Among the usual fare will be presidential campaign ads for Michael Bloomberg and Donald Trump, in case you’d care to have the mute button handy.
I don’t want to spoil the surprise but Smirk is especially looking forward to one commercial not yet seen. Hint: Betty White, side-saddle on a galloping Budweiser Clydesdale in an ad titled,
“Lady Godiva.”
Smirk’s “Super Bowl Opening Night” highlights from Marlins Park: The video tribute and “Kobe!” chants. Kid reporters asking precious questions while actual working reporters on deadline jostle to get anywhere close to the podiums. Niners DE Nick Bosa on wishing he could have rushed Brett Favre: “He just looked so sackable in that big, baggy jersey.” Chiefs WR Tyreek Hill saying he laughs when Patrick Mahomes speaks in the huddle “because he sounds like Kermit the Frog.”
And the fact hundreds of fans paid $25 each to sit in temporary bleachers and observe credentialed media interviewing players and coaches.
Via @GloccStarrrr on Twitter: “Attention 49ers fans: I accidentally bought Super Bowl tickets on the same day I’m supposed to get married and they cost me $3,500. If anyone wants to take my place for FREE its going to be at St. Jude’s church. Her name is Karen. She’s 5-2. Super nice girl.”
Chiefs fan Jack Stasi, 71, still has the original game ticket ($15) and program from K.C.’s previous Super Bowl appearance following the 1969 season. Despite being offered big bucks by collectors, the sentimental Stasi says he plans to give the treasured items to his grandkids, who are expected to then offer them on eBay upon his demise.
The annual Super Bowl
Media Party is set for Tuesday evening at PortMiami Terminal J, where hundreds of freeloading journalists like Smirk will gorge on free food and booze, later stiffing their companies with bogus restaurant receipts.
Monday they held a “Super Bowl Business Connect Celebration,” spotlighting the accomplishments of suppliers and local businesses, despite the fact it sounds like quite possibly the dullest event ever held.
NFL field director Ed Mangan was made available to the media Tuesday to answer questions about the field’s preparation, despite an overwhelming lack of media demand and no apparent questions.
Super Bowl Party Tip Dujour: For something different, make your Sunday gathering completely alcohol-free. It will save you the bother of having to host a Super Bowl party again next year.
Greg Cote: 305-376-3492, @gregcote