J. Lo, Shakira promise halftime show with message
Super Bowl With a Smirk is back with the fourth of five daily needling jabs at the self-important NFL and the oversized gravitas of its big game. Flying under the banner, “Make Fun, Not War,” Smirk is an annual Super Bowl Week feature in the Miami Herald on years we remember to do it.
The Super Bowl Halftime Talent Press Conference Presented by America’s Second-Favorite Cola was held Thursday at Miami’s downtown Hilton, where headline performers Jennifer Lopez and Shakira made it very difficult for Smirk to poke much fun, other than at Pepsi.
A bloviating Pepsi suit prone to understatement introduced the two stars by promising they would deliver “the most unique, complex and fun 12 minutes this world has ever seen.”
But when the two women started speaking, the darn thing turned, well ... inspiring.
“The Chiefs and 49ers are run by women, and now here are two women headlining the halftime show,” noted J.Lo.
“That alone to me is empowering. Two Latinas doing that in this country, at this time — I’m very proud to help push forth that message.”
(Lopez, Bronx-born of Puerto Rican parents, referred to Denise DeBartolo York owning the 49ers, while the Chiefs are run by the family of the late Lamar Hunt, including his wife, Norma).
Said Shakira, born and raised in Colombia: “We are celebrating diversity in this country. It’s a very important moment for the Latino community.
The Latinos are going through a difficult time in the U.S. right now. This is a very American event — as American as it gets. And the heritage for this country is one of diversity. It’s important for us to convey a message of unity.”
The choice of halftime stars is well timed but also a perfect reflection of host Miami’s own diversity and culture.
Two performers, ages 50 and 42, both Latina women.
“J.Lo and I are here redefining paradigms about age, race and backgrounds,” Shakira said.
Super Bowl halftimes often disappoint. Have a strong hunch this one won’t.
OK now on to the nonsense:
A Super Bowl Anti-Counterfeiting Press Conference was held Thursday at Miami Beach Convention Center, with officials warning fans to be on the lookout for fake tickets and unauthorized merchandise. For example: If you spent $2,400 cash in a parking lot for a Super Bowl ticket that seemed unusually small and was stamped “Regal South Beach Cinemas/Jumanji: The Next Level” — you may have been duped.
Just in case your Super Bowl party is too full of laughter and fun, Michael Bloomberg’s $11 million campaign ad Sunday will focus on gun violence and feature a grieving mother.
New betting odds indicate the Ravens’ Lamar Jackson and John Harbaugh are favorites to win MVP and Coach of the Year at Saturday’s NFL Honors awards show at the Adrienne Arsht Center. Coincidentally, neither are in this Super Bowl because both majorly choked in the playoffs and should be handed trophies that are tarnished and dented.
“Super Bowl LIVE,” the free fan festival at Bayfront Park, includes a “Tailgate Town.” Actual tailgating is not allowed at the actual game, but fans with a desperate imagination may pretend they’re tailgating some 20 miles southeast of the stadium.
A Houston high roller, Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale,
has bet $1 million on the 49ers to win. Cautionary note: Mattress Mack lost $11.6 million on Astros bets last year.
This item has been pointless. Smirk just loves saying “Mattress Mack.”
Hate to break it to you, but nobody cares who will win Sunday’s game based on your Madden simulation.
This year’s SB will be broadcast live in about 170 countries. Somewhere in Hungary right now, two old crones hunched over a cauldron of goulash are debating the 49ers’ wherewithal to stop the Chiefs offense. “Olyan kar, hogy Patrick Mahomes,” says one, adding with a leering grin: “Es annyira szexi gondor hajaval!”
Super Bowl Party Tip Dujour: When trying to figure out how many chicken wings to order, the general rule of thumb is 145 per guest, according to guidelines from the National Chicken Council.
Greg Cote: 305-376-3492, @gregcote