It’s worth embarrassment of groveling to rejoin graduate program

Dear Carolyn: I dropped out of my grad program with only a few credits to go because I felt the workload was sucking all the fun out of my life and forcing me to miss some fun times with friends.

Well, about six months later, it seems the Happy Hour Every Night phase has abruptly ended for my whole friend group, and now I feel like an idiot for letting my momentum drift away and not just inishing my education when I was that close.

I should de initely grovel my way back into my program, but every time I think of doing that, I get stuck on what a loser I’m going to sound like when I explain that I left to play with my friends. Can you help me get past that obstacle?

— Made a Mistake

Made a Mistake: “I left for personal reasons, and I’d like to return.” Growing up isn’t pretty. But, it’s good.*

Plus, the sound-likea-loser potential isn’t diminishing with time, it’s amassing armies, so the sooner you get on it the better.

*It’s also lifelong, alas. Assuming my sense of time is accurate, I am unable to go more than a month or so without an, “I can’t believe I have to freaking admit this about myself,” moment of some magnitude or another. My goal in life is not to erase them, but instead to keep them small. Ish.

Readers’ thoughts: —Being able to recognize that you need to change course in life is itself a worthwhile skill, especially in the context of having to admit a mistake and try to change back. In other words, you’re not a loser — just having the realization you had is an achievement. Good luck.

—As a faculty member in a department with a graduate program, I can say we LOVE when students come back and graduate. It’s professionally ful illing, but also the graduation numbers matter for our accreditation. In a small program, every student matters! And honestly, we’ve heard all the reasons — and non-reasons — for dropping out that you can imagine.