Kids are barriers in couple’s relationship

Dear Abby: I got married to a wonderful guy 14 years ago, but after a year of marriage, our children (his 10-year-old and my 12- and 13-year-olds) couldn’t stand one another and caused a lot of problems. I was brokenhearted when he gave me divorce papers. I moved out but continued to date him without our kids around.

Seven years ago, after his son moved out, I moved back in, but he won’t ask me to remarry him. My kids get along fine with him, but his son hates me and refuses to come to any holiday or birthday celebration that I host.

Should I move on? I feel like I have wasted 14 years of my life. — Hopeless in Ohio

Dear Hopeless: That this man has allowed his son to dictate how the two of you will spend your lives is very sad. Unless you can accept living with the status quo, the answer to your question is: Move on.

Dear Abby: In 2014, I loaned a friend $5,000. I never asked the reason for the loan. Over time we lost touch. However, we reconnected and decided to go on a trip throughout the West.

Three days in, we both realized it was a poor idea to travel together. He has now become quite nasty and speaks ill of me. Should I write and request payment of the loan or let it go? — Out of Pocket in Vegas

Dear Out of Pocket: If you had the forethought to put IN WRITING the fact you were lending this person money, you have a prayer of having the loan repaid. If you didn’t, you can try writing to this (former) friend, but legally it won’t be worth the paper your letter is written on. If that’s the case, consider this an expensive lesson.