Mother-in-law wants to come to dinner but won’t wear a mask
Dear Carolyn: I am doing my best to stay home and not risk getting COVID. My dear husband works in a grocery store but is faithful about maskwearing. So far, so good. I have faith in masks but think it may still be possible to catch the virus while wearing one.
My problem is that my mother-in-law wants us to come to dinner every two weeks or so. I think she believes God has his hand over us and we are safe. I don’t share that conviction. She is starting to resent me for refusing to come.
And, really, what difference does it make if my husband goes over and then brings the virus back to me? She is pro-mask but won’t wear one. She is also deaf and gets irritated with me when she can’t understand me through the mask. My husband, fatherin-law, and sister-in-law are no help.
What do I do? I’m not trying to have a power play here, but I don’t want this virus and I don’t want her to get it, either. I feel like
I’m being an ass when I hold my ground but I also believe it is the right thing to do.
— Damned if I Do, Sick
if I Don’t
Damned if I Do, Sick if I Don’t:
It is the right thing
to do.
That’s why you’re not “being an ass” when you hold your ground— you’re being a hero.
I amsorry your motherin-law’s weakness, and the others’ even weaker weakness in the face of her weakness, mean your heroics are being undermined.
But that doesn’t mean you should cave.
Your strength is an important example, an opportunity for the others to stop putting self-interest ahead of pandemic necessity. Don’t succumb and make it easy for them to maintain their denial.
As your groceryemployed husband proves, some don’t have the luxury of living the epidemiologist’s dream. And the alternative is not to throw up our hands and declare the effort hopeless — it’s to recognize that when all precautions aren’t possible, the possible precautions become all the more urgent. People who can be vigilant must be for those who can’t. Or won’t.
So keep taking your spread-prevention measures, every one you can.