Miami Herald

Busy mom fights to keep from ex­plod­ing

- JEANNEPHIL­LIPS Con­tact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. Lifestyle · Family

Dear Abby: I’m a 24-year-old woman who has been mar­ried for four years. My hus­band, “Jerry,” and I have two young boys. Jerry is mil­i­tary. I stay at home with the kids and work part time on­line on an as­so­ciate de­gree. We strug­gle fi­nan­cially, but our ba­sic needs are met and, over­all, I’m happy with my life.

My prob­lem is I’m find­ing my­self strug­gling to con­trol a very strong tem­per. The kids or my hus­band may be get­ting on my nerves, or I’m late turn­ing in an as­sign­ment, or I’m un­able to get house­work done— these frus­tra­tions build up in­side and make me want to throw a fit, scream or throw things, essen­tially NOT be the cool, re­spon­si­ble adult I typ­i­cally am.

I know this is in­cred­i­bly im­ma­ture, and I re­al­ize I’m well off in the grand scheme of things, but this anger still brews. I have never had a prob­lem con­trol­ling my tem­per be­fore. Can you help? — Fired Up in Florida

Dear Fired Up: The quar­an­tines and lock­downs­may be part of the cause of your near melt­downs. Many peo­ple are stressed and spread thin, and the iso­la­tion isn’t help­ing.

Some­times when peo­ple are frus­trated, they lose their tem­per with those presently around them. In sit­u­a­tions like this, it’s im­por­tant to eval­u­ate the source of what might re­ally be ir­ri­tat­ing you rather than mis­di­rect your anger at a blame­less tar­get. The abil­ity to con­trol your emo­tions is cru­cial so your chil­dren won’t grow up think­ing that ex­plod­ing is nor­mal. There are healthy ways of deal­ing with frus­tra­tion. Among them: leav­ing the room, go­ing for a walk or say­ing to your­self, “Please, Lord, don’t let me lose my tem­per!” be­fore open­ing your mouth.

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