Employee is feeling sidelined by the boss

Dear Abby: When my boss hired me as an assistant four years ago, she specifically told me my job was to do whatever the person above me wants. I wasn’t allowed to communicate with anyone on the job other than the lady above me. Even though it was tough to watch my supervisor make so many bad decisions and get away with it, I did what was required of me.

Now I have worked my way up and have an assistant of my own. However, my boss has given my assistant much more than she ever gave me when I was in that position. Sometimes I feel like she acts like I’m not valued. I want to point it out, but I don’t want to be that kind of person. I love what I do, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle being treated this way.

Should I tell her how I feel? She constantly leaves me out of important decisions and then tries to play mind games to make up for it. She is also giving my assistant important information before telling me. I don’t know what I should do. — Frustrated in Oregon

Dear Frustrated: Many companies have annual reviews for employees in which subjects like the ones you have raised are discussed. If this isn’t the case in your firm, ask for one.

During that conversation, tell your boss that sometimes you feel your efforts aren’t valued and why. Remind her that you were instructed not to talk with anyone on the job other than the person immediately above you, and you feel undercut because your assistant is being given important information before it is shared with you. It may clear the air. However, if it doesn’t, by all means start searching for another job, since you seem to be considering it anyway.