Court’s leaked ruling needs some polishing

Regarding the recent stories on the leaked Supreme Court draft ruling in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, some edits are needed to complete Justice Samuel Alito’s arguments and resolve a few concerns.

Land-owning white men, many with slaves, were the nation’s founders, authors and focus of the U.S. Constitution. With women not even considered, of course there’s no mention of abortion as deeply rooted in the nation’s history or tradition. Despite decades of established law based on the right to privacy, apparently this was all an error to correct, starting with the denial of abortion rights.

Therefore, before the ruling is final, the following addendum should advance the justices’ dystopian society.

Effective immediately, every American male must provide DNA samples to be kept on file in perpetuity. Every child born to a “birthing” parent denied an abortion must receive genetic testing to identify the “impregnator” parent. All healthcare and financial burdens of childbirth become the responsibility of the impregnator parent, using whatever steps necessary for compliance.

The resulting children are also the sole responsibility of the impregnator parent, including feeding, clothing, daycare, housing, training and medical, educational and financial support. This is because the childbearing vessels have completed their legally enforced duty to protect all life until birth and perpetuate mankind.

As a bonus, these adjustments remove the societal burden of dropping off newborns at fire stations, as Justice Amy Coney Barrett suggested in oral arguments.

There, that’s much better. Except, sadly, those pesky complications of childbirth.