How to help children cope in aftermath of violence at school

The shocking shooting that left 18 children dead at a school in Texas is forcing parents and schools to once again confront how to talk to kids about violence.

Experts say these are complex and sensitive conversations, but also vital.

Kids are “anxious and worried, and they’re dealing with the unknown,” one specialist told The Times after the 2015 San Bernardino, Calif., terrorist attack. “Parents have to be role models in terms of establishing a sense of safety, security, predictability.”

Here are some tips experts have suggested:

Check in with your child and talk to them about their concerns:

The first thing adults should do is make sure their child or adolescent knows they are willing and available to talk with them, Stephen Brock, a professor of school psychology at Cal State Sacramento, told The Times in the past. Younger kids may not be as worried. But teenagers are likely to know more and have concerns, so it’s better to address the subject directly with them rather than avoid it, said Carol Vidal, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins University.

Give kids reassuring facts about their safety:

Parents should immediately reassure children that they are safe — a practice that extends to all trauma survivors. With younger children, adults can explain all that adults do to keep them safe, such as locking doors and conducting emergency drills. Parents also can and should tell their children that school is a safe place for them.

Treat children according to their age:

Give young children only brief, simple information. These children are less verbal so they may communicate about their anxiety by drawing or playing. Answer their questions with specifics, but don’t overload them. For middleand high-school age youth, more detailed conversations will be appropriate. The best place to have that conversation depends on the teen — it could be in the car or while a friend is present, instead of just sitting and talking about the event one on one.

Limit exposure to the media:

This is true for youth of all ages. Violent images can cause secondary trauma, and developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety and confusion. For younger children, “every time they watch the news, they feel like it’s a new event as opposed to repetition of the same event. It’s important for them not to watch too much,” Vidal said. While older kids will understand that difference, prolonged exposure to graphic images and details is harmful to them as well.

Maintain routines:

Sticking to regular routines can be reassuring and can help children and teens maintain a sense of normality.