When using technology, be the master, not the servant
Alex sat in my office, hands clenched in his lap, knees bobbing rapidly, his eyes wide and apprehensive. “My friends say I’m addicted to the Internet,” he blurted out, the compadres in question being classmates at his community college.
The concept of addiction does not just apply to substances, but also to certain behaviors. People can show addictive symptoms in pursuits such as gambling, consuming pornography, smartphone use, etc.
One characteristic of addiction is that it becomes the center of one’s existence, as was true for Alex. He spent over 10 hours a day on the Internet and arranged his schedule around it, rather than vice versa.
Research shows that excessive Internet use actually shrinks certain areas of the brain, resulting in negative impacts on cognition and behavior.
Another marker of addiction is that it messes with important aspects of one’s life. For Alex, his Internet obsession interfered with his family and social relationships.
He became more solitary, less inclined to accept an invitation to socialize, and, even when with others, mentally absent despite being physically present.
What’s more, it damaged his academic performance and physical health. The need to surf the net took priority over homework, and the sedentary nature of the activity left him physically lethargic while also mentally wired.
What’s more, he gained over 20 pounds in a year, most of his diet consisting of fast food.
A classic indicator of addiction is the onset of withdrawal symptoms upon removal of the substance or behavior in question.
Alex met that criterion, as well. The withdrawal from Internet addiction is primarily psychological, and its main symptoms are depression and anxiety, which was evident in Alex’s agitation.
“I didn’t surf at all today. I wanted to see if it would bother me, and it does,” he confided.
Alex explained that being on the Internet relaxed him, but research suggests otherwise.
So, the next time he surfed, I had him periodically pause and check in with his feelings, both physical and emotional. Not surprisingly, he reported feeling tense and stressed.
Internet addicts are, quite literally, wired differently. Neuroscience has documented disturbing changes in the structure and functioning of their brains.
In essence, these addicted users are conducting a beta test on their psyches, and, as of now, the results look alarming.
One of the more disconcerting findings is that, for millennials like Alex, the Internet is a defining aspect of their development and identity, making them more susceptible to this kind of addiction.
An excess of online time diminishes their exposure to “primary experiences” (nature, face-to-face interactions, physical activities, etc.), those that fully engage all the senses, optimize brain development and build emotional intelligence.
To folks like Alex, the Internet can become more real than the real world, a reminder to us all that, when it comes to interacting with technology, we must be the master, not the servant.
Control it, or it will control you. Philip Chard is a psychotherapist, author and trainer. Email Chard at outofmymind@philipchard.com or visit philipchard.com.