Rules of proper punching

Common sense would dictate that any time a Nazi gets punched in the face, an American soldier gets a medal.

On the streets of Washington, D.C., last Friday, this theory was put to the test, as racist, antiimmigrant, anti-Semite Richard Spencer was punched in the head from behind while being filmed giving an interview shortly after President Donald Trump’s inauguration.

Immediately, the attack on the “alt-right” leader ricocheted gleefully through the Internet, with some social media users setting the haymaker to patriotic music. Both political left and right cheered as the incident left one fewer Nazi face unpunched.

Upon reflection, however, there emerged detractors of this brand of vigilante justice. Charles C.W. Cooke of National Review argued against assaulting Nazis on constitutional grounds, reasonably claiming that “a great test of any free country is how it treats its dissenters.” (Although it would seem people prone to punching other people would tend not to be steeped in history, unless that person is Indiana Jones.)

America always has had a love affair with people punching each other in the face. There is something dignified about a man being willing to defend his own honor with his fists.

But even though none of us lacks sufficient reason to pop someone in the face, there must be rules for doing so.

Obviously, hitting someone is acceptable in the case of selfdefense. If you are a man, hitting a woman is never acceptable, and if justice serves, reasonably should lead to you being pummeled yourself. And of course, excessive punching that endangers someone’s life is never allowed. (“Assault: how much is too much?”)

Otherwise, punching should be limited to those engaged in a consensual fight. Upon calculating the risks, if two people agree that “taking it outside” is the best way to solve things, that choice is one each is entitled to make. This is in keeping with the long American tradition of dueling — some states still even have clauses that bar state employment for those having participated in a duel. (Presumably, like old times, most bar fights begin with a declaration like, “Good day, sir, I believe you have dishonored me — I therefore challenge you to engage me in fisticuffs!”)

That brings us to the second major category of punch recipients — those who are unaware they are about to be punched. For these people, the anti-violence enthusiasts have it right; we cannot have a society where people just take the punching laws into their own fists and start clocking people with whom they disagree.

But even though you shouldn’t hit Nazis, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a good reason to. As James Madison said (probably), free speech doesn’t mean freedom from ass-beatings.

Thus, if you are a racist and stand on a Washington, D.C. street corner and proselytize white supremacy, you have to understand the chance of you finding yourself amid a fist blizzard is dangerously high. Call people the n-word or unironically refer to someone using the gay-related f-word and it is unlikely they will quickly check the statute books to determine whether to allow you to keep your teeth.

Just to be clear, hitting people who don’t consent to being punched is always wrong and you shouldn’t do it. It’s just that in some cases … we understand.