Dylan’s ties to ‘Wow Wow Toaster’

I live in Wauwatosa and I know what you’re thinking: It’s not called that anymore.

As of this week, my city is Wow Wow Toaster. Bob Dylan says so.

And who am I, a lowly PopTart fresh from the Toaster, to argue with a Nobel laureate for literature? Nobody has written more songs than this guy, except maybe Colder’s in its TV ads.

This week we learned that in 1961, 20-year-old Dylan penned a handwritten ode to Wisconsin, where the Minnesota-born music legend spent time at summer camp as a teen and lived a short while in Madison in 1960.

His precious scribblings failed to draw a bid at an auction Thursday in Los Angeles.

The unpublished song twice suggests a connection to Wauwatosa. “I was in Wow Wow Toaster there,” he says. And in a later verse, “My homes in Wow Wow Toaster.” At least that’s what it looks like. His penmanship is sometimes as indecipherable as his voice can be.

Carol Rosen, a volunteer research librarian at the Wauwatosa Historical Society, searched for evidence of a Tosa link to Dylan and came up empty-handed.

“I’ve lived here most of my life. I honestly would have known that Bob Dylan lived here,” she said. “We were thinking that would be a nice name for a breakfast place — Wow Wow Toaster.”

Frankly, the song isn’t very good and in spots sounds like it was written by a tourism bureau. Dylan, who spells our state Wisconson throughout, makes lots of references to our dairy legacy of milk, cream, cheese and butter.

As probably the most presumptuous thing I’ll ever do, I’m about to suggest some lyrics about Wisconsin that Bob Dylan might have written instead. Next, I’ll give Eric Clapton guitar playing advice.

“You don’t need Albert the alley sock to know which way the wind blows.”

“She was working at Art’s Performing Center, and I stopped in for a beer.”

“Like a complete unknown, like the two candidates for state school superintendent most people can’t name.”

“Everybody must get stoned, but you might want to skip Wisconsin for this one and do it in the growing number of states where weed is legal.”

“Johnny’s in the basement, mixing up the Wisconsin Dells fudge batter.”

“Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven City’s door in Mukwonago,” or as Dylan might call it, Mequon a Go Go.

“It’s all over now, Boy Blue ice cream shops, which found a way to fail in America’s Dairyland.”

“It’s all right, Ma, I’m only trying to run a food truck on Brady Street.”

“To be stuck inside of Neenah, with the Menasha blues again.”

“You better take your Paul Ryan health care plan, you better pawn it, babe.”

“When your rooster crows at the break of dawn, look out your window and I’ll already be lined up to get into the Miller Park lots to start drinking for opening day.”

“Take me on a trip upon your magic downtown streetcar.”

“Lay, lady, lay. Lay across the big brass bed of any Wisconsin English teacher who will tell you it’s lie, lady, lie.”

“There must be some kind of way out of here, said Republican members of Congress at raucous listening sessions.”

“Come in, she said, I’ll give ya shelter from Sheriff David Clarke beating you up.”

“The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wintry mix advisory.”

OK, I’m a-gonna quit now.