Victims of abuse need to focus on self-care
Hobbled with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder, Nikki is struggling to slog her way through college.
Alan is on his third job in two years, and on the ledge with the current one. He’s driven by chronic anger, and bristles at the world like a human porcupine.
Sharon’s heart is like a vault. Lacking the capacity for emotional intimacy, she suffers deep loneliness and feels alienated from others.
What these souls have in common is a past. Each was the victim of abuse as a child. They endured traumatic suffering at a very young and vulnerable age.
Neurological and psychological assessments prove, beyond doubt, that childhood emotional trauma is toxic to the brain and impedes subsequent psychological development. I’d like to sugarcoat that for those affected, but I simply can’t.
However, these three individuals, and those like them, are not without hope. We know that behavior and personality can change for the better. Nonetheless, these folks face a steeper hill to climb than those who did not suffer similar mistreatment.
An astounding number of people who seek mental health care endured emotional trauma in their youth. Some studies show as many as 80% of psychotherapy clients fall into this category.
It’s important to remember that during childhood and adolescence the brain is highly malleable. The influence of the social environment is at its peak, meaning the impacts of emotional abuse from family or peers are deep and durable.
The abuse itself manifests in a variety of forms. Interestingly, within limits, verbal abuse is more emotionally devastating than physical maltreatment, with the exception of sexual assault. The emotional wounds from an angry beating, while painful, are not as hurtful in the long run as those from repeated spoken assaults.
In either case, neuroscientists regard abuse, including bullying, as a “neurotoxin” to the brain. It destructively alters neurochemistry and synaptic functioning in lasting ways.
As adults, what this requires of the victims is a dedicated focus on selfcare, in some instances augmented with professional counseling. Considerable progress is possible, but the commitment must be firm and ongoing.
Foundational approaches include meditation, spiritual retreats, expressive journaling, an anti-inflammatory
Childhood emotional trauma is an all too common genesis of adult distress and dysfunction. And while not all wounds fully heal, they need not define who one is and how one lives this life.
diet and mindful exercise, such as yoga or tai chi. These practices offer greater emotional self-regulation, mindfulness and physical well-being. In other words, they heal.
For many, it is also important to include a social component, such as participation in a faith community, a support group or volunteer work interacting with people or other animals. Finally, research has verified that immersion in the natural world is emotionally healing. It helps one lose the mind (obsessive worry or self-denigration) and regain the senses (experiential engagement with life).
Childhood emotional trauma is an all too common genesis of adult distress and dysfunction. And while not all wounds fully heal, they need not define who one is and how one lives this life.