Sometimes the voice within is the best mentor
Paul is a lifelong learner, someone eager to push the boundaries of his own beliefs and attitudes.
As such, he connected with a variety of mentors he surmised could help him reach his cognitive and spiritual potential.
“People laugh at the phrase now — consciousness raising — but that’s what it is,” he told me.
Paul’s quest for greater knowledge, both of the world and himself, took him to an array of places and persons. He immersed himself in many religious and philosophical teachings, never confining himself to just one version of reality. Simultaneously, he adopted a variety of disciplines, including yoga, tai chi, meditation and journaling.
Widowed and retired from his once booming medical practice, he presumed that an infusion of free time would propel him much further in his quest. But that’s not how things played out.
“My teachers and their teachings just don’t connect with me as they did before,” he explained. “I come away from these encounters and retreats feeling kind of empty, uninspired and not sure where to go next.”
Paul has succumbed to what many consider the primary peril of success — doing the same thing that got us what we wanted in the past even though, in the present, it stops working. Rather than heeding the message embedded in his experience (“not working anymore”), he still presumes it will miraculously renew its effectiveness.
“I need a life teacher now and can’t seem to find one,” he lamented.
“It’s possible you’re looking in the wrong place,” I suggested, prompting him to ask, “So what would be the right place?”
“Maybe the teacher has gone inside,” I replied.
Inner wisdom, often called “intuition,” arises from a rich fund of life experiences combined with innate capacities (some of us are naturally more intuitive than others). Paul has both attributes but has never learned to value inner wisdom as much as that from outside himself.
An applicable adage states, “You can’t be a prophet in your own land,” meaning, in the case of wisdom, if it comes from me, it must not be as valuable as from an outside expert or guru. Sometimes this is accurate, but once a person reaches a certain tipping point in their intuitive acumen, the inner guru may be more helpful than an outer one.
In working with psychotherapy clients, it’s important to assess their intuitive ability and, when robust, to rely on it as a “co-therapist.” Which was precisely the approach with Paul.
Already an experienced meditator, we identified how he could distinguish an intuitive response, which arises spontaneously, from a more deliberative one that relies on conscious thought. In his case, strong intuitions arose in tandem with simultaneous physical sensations (“chills” or “tingles”), and often informed his decisions about next steps on his spiritual journey with images and thoughts that provided mental bread crumbs, so to speak.
When one is truly a searcher on a spiritual quest, a guide can be of great benefit. However, at some point, the “guide” who knows you best is the one residing in your own psyche.
“I need a life teacher now and can’t seem to find one.” “PAUL,” A LIFELONG LEARNER