Help your teen ease into therapy
Ask Carolyn
Dear Carolyn: A few months ago, our teenage daughter said she wanted to try therapy. She didn’t have any obviously threatening issues, like eating disorders or cutting. We said, fine, here are some choices in our insurance plan, see who seems best to you, or just tell us how you want it to fit into your schedule and we’ll go from there.
Since then, she’s said nothing about it, and she seems fine – she’s still socializing, getting good grades, etc. We can’t tell if she is just being a changeable teen, or if she is rejecting help she really needs. Any suggestions?
Ask her directly if she’s still interested in trying therapy, noting that you didn’t want to assume anything based on her decision not to follow up. It’s OK to be proactive; if she says she’s still interested, then say you’ll book an intro appointment with one of the choices on your insurance plan, unless she says otherwise.
Even fully grown and independent adults struggle with those last steps of choosing a provider and making the time to go. It’s significant that she found the courage to ask. Make it easy for her now.
Re: Therapy: Finding a therapist can be challenging. When I started considering therapy, my parents told me they would help me out if I found someone. I searched online through numerous therapists, weighing specialties, costs and personal reviews. I ended up getting so overwhelmed that I just quit looking. No one asked or followed up with me.
It wasn’t until I started to get worse that I got help from someone else I knew who inquired with their former therapist to get recommendations for me. I was in my 20s, and if it was difficult for me, it could be the same for your daughter.
Also, you might inquire with her or your doctor for recommendations. Persuasive experience, thanks.
Dear Carolyn: As much as I dismissed my husband when he brought it up, I think I have to admit I’m addicted to my phone. I’ve tried leaving it in other rooms, having a set time to put it away at night, etc., but I still find myself reaching for it all the time. Any tips on how to put the phone down and not worry about not responding right away? For work/family purposes, putting it on silent isn’t really manageable.
Thank you. I’ve been doing the same.