Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Boss can’t say name correctly

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Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: My boss loves me and has really helped with my career. One little issue: She can’t say my name correctly. It’s a common name but she butchers it; think pronouncin­g Nina like Ny-nah instead of Nee-nah.

She has heard me and others pronounce my name Nee-nah hundreds of times, but she still says Ny-nah. Sometimes, she’ll get the link and say Nee-nah once but then goes back to Ny-nah.

I wouldn’t care except it is becoming embarrassi­ng when she is in meetings talking about all the great things Ny-nah does and people look at me with a quizzical look. I feel like it looks bad on me that I haven’t corrected her. But, she clearly hears people say Nee-nah and still says Ny-nah. For the record, she also says Moto-sicle instead of Motorcycle even though every other person in the USA says Motorcycle. What do I do?? – Mispronoun­ced

I think this reflects on her, not you, and therefore you can let it go. As annoying as it is.

For what it’s worth, I think what it reflects on her is mild. Presumably we’ve all known people here and there, bright and competent ones, who struggle with pronunciat­ions, or use malapropis­ms, or can’t spell to save their lives. This is personal for you so it seems unusual, but overall it’s just not that uncommon for people to have a kink in their verbal wiring. Even people without any noticeable language glitch can run across their white whale, the name they Just Can’t Get Right – often for a sympatheti­c reason, like a childhood bestie who spelled her name Nee-nah but pronounced it Nynah and wore a brain-to-tongue pathway that can’t be unworn.

Signed, the fourth of four sisters who in elementary school was often called every sister’s name but her own.

Re: Mispronoun­ced: A colleague of mine has a similar problem with names. We have a colleague whose name is missing the typical consonant, as in Ronal instead of Ronald. Another that is spelled with a consonant that is pronounced atypically – spelled with an “f,” but pronounced like a “v.” I’ve given up on correcting the pronunciat­ion. It’s just a verbal tic and nothing to get worked up over. – Given Up

Re: Mispronoun­ced: I have an unusual name that is frequently mistaken for a common one. In high school I had the same math teacher for two and a half years, including my senior year. He wrote me a glowing college recommenda­tion, but referred to me throughout by the common name that wasn’t mine. It was the only time I’ve cared, because I thought the admissions folks might question how genuine his rec was.

Fortunatel­y he showed it to me ahead of time (not standard practice) and we fixed it. He was glad I spoke up.

So, basically, if there is a real reason why your boss’s mispronunc­iation could harm you, have a gentle talk with her and make it about that reason. Otherwise, no reason to let it bother you. – Unusual Name

Fair enough. Just don’t expect to stick what hasn’t ever stuck.

Email Carolyn at tellme@ washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with at noon Eastern time each Friday.

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Carolyn Hax

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