PHIL HIMMELFARB MAKING DEATH A LOVING EXPERIENCE

Phil himmelfarb provides comfort and companionship to those who are in the waning moments of life. The Whitefish Bay resident is often found at the bedside of dying residents of the Jewish Home and Care Center on Milwaukee’s East Side in his role as a volunteer in a program he helped revitalize.

“It’s very intimate and profound and it’s different every time,” Himmelfarb says. “Whether with words or just breathing with them in the same space, or a simple touch. Sometimes people are scared. Sometimes they aren’t even conscious or sentient in the way we are.”

A near-death experience when a car struck him and left him seriously injured two years ago, along with this bedside hospice work, has transformed Himmelfarb, whose nearly wrinkleless face and shock of dark curly hair tinged with gray belie his 80 years of life.

“I don’t take life for granted. Life ends,” says Himmelfarb, his piercing blue-green eyes unblinking. “What has changed for me is the awareness. I don’t fear death any more. It’s a normal part of life.”

A New York native raised in Boston, Himmelfarb earned a Ph.D. in microbiology and biochemistry from the University of Massachusetts. He made his way to Milwaukee in 1970 to work at the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Co., where he helped develop new products for the company, including its first low-alcohol beverages. After 12 years at Schlitz, he launched a consulting firm that focused on strategic planning and new product development. In 2000, he began seriously contemplating the post-work phase of his life.

“I was starting to think of what’s next,” he recalls. “I have been given so many gifts. I’ve had some lucky breaks. It was time. It wasn’t about me anymore. It sounds terribly cliché, but it was true.”

His attorney at the time, Mike Joseph, suggested something that had never crossed Himmelfarb’s mind: take a volunteer role at the Jewish Home and Care Center. Nearly two decades later, it is part of the fabric of his existence.

“He just seemed like a person who had an interest in doing good for the community,” says Joseph, who has served in a variety of roles at the Jewish Home and its affiliates, including an extended stint as board chairman, over the past 35 years. “You get attached to it. I’m sure Phil will keep going.”

He says Himmelfarb has taken on a “highly thoughtful role” in his volunteer efforts focused on the dying. “It takes a special mentality to assist people in the last stages of their lives,” says Joseph.

Arleen Peltz met Himmelfarb in 2001 when her husband, Walter, was a resident at the center. “Phil would stop by, always being considerate to see if Walter was up to having a visitor and spent quality time with the two of us,” Peltz recalls. “After Walter passed away, I knew it also was my destiny to volunteer there. That is when my friendship with Phil began. One could not ask for a more caring friend.”

Rabbi Steven Adams, director of pastoral care at the Jewish Home and Care Center, describes Himmelfarb as a “reassuring presence” for the residents, and considers Himmelfarb a chief adviser. “He has a wealth of knowledge, and his understanding of people is something I benefit from,” says Adams. “He’s just focused on doing something meaningful.”

Himmelfarb enjoys learning about the lives of the residents with whom he spends time. “It’s important to meet with people who are near the end of their lives,” he says. “Everyone has a unique story and needs human companionship. Just someone to talk to and to be there.”

Himmelfarb says it’s his hope that those with whom he spends time feel respected and not alone. “Death actually can be a very loving experience.” –