Advocate for victims of gang violence dies
Deborah Aguilar turned the tragedy of her son’s murder into a strong voice for victims of violence
SALINAS >> Deborah Aguilar took a personal tragedy and turned it into a compassionate support organization for victims and survivors of gang violence for nearly two decades, but the 60-year-old mother who knew that violence firsthand has died from COVID-19, leaving a void in the community she served.
“What I loved about Debbie was that she kept families in the forefront of decision-making at city hall,” said Salinas Mayor Kimbley Craig.
She was proactive in reaching out to the police department and local elected officials to help them understand the perspective of a victim’s family on violence in the community.
“Sometimes when making decisions, it is good to attach names and faces,” said Craig. “It was her life’s calling.”
The advocate for peace found her voice after her 18-year-old son Stephen was killed in a drive-by shooting in 2002. She felt at the time she was not finding the help she needed in other grief support groups, so about a year after her son’s death, she became one of the founders of “A Time for Grieving” which helped families and friends of victims of violence.
Ms. Aguilar called herself “a survivor of life’s most traumatic event” but it was not an honor she would wish on anyone.
She aimed to unite mothers against gang violence, to find ways to cope with tragedy and fight back to protect communities affected by violence through candlelight vigils and public rallies to raise awareness about violent crime.
Though Ms. Aguilar’s activism was homegrown, she was recognized by many civic, community and state leaders including a 2004 visit from then-U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer, and an appointment from thenGovernor Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2007 as an advisory team member to help develop long-term strategies to fight gang violence.
Ms. Aguilar carried the memory and grief of her slain son, using that energy in her advocacy for alternatives for youth so they do not fall prey to gang life. She became a familiar face in violence prevention circles, lobbying at the state and federal level for more funding for anti-gang programs, and was featured in the documentary “Nuestra Familia, Our Family” which portrayed the destruction of several Salinas families through violence.
“I considered her a friend,” said Julia Reynolds, a former Herald reporter and co-producer of the documentary. “We got to know each other in a professional way.”
Reynolds said what she will remember most about Ms. Aguilar was her “ability to reach out to both sides” of the issue of violent crime. “She set those feelings aside to connect with other human beings.”
Reynolds said she witnessed Ms. Aguilar’s evolution over time from starting as an advocate in support of parents who had lost children to violence to include parents of the perpetrators of the violence.
“She reached out to the other side and opened up the group to the mothers of those who were going to prison,” said Reynolds.
Through that evolution in the last few years, Ms. Aguilar started going to the Correctional Training Facility in Soledad to speak to those behind bars for gang violence which often left them moved and in tears hearing directly from a mother whose son was lost to gang violence, according to Reynolds.
Ms. Aguilar was a frequent speaker at the annual National Crime Victim’s Rights Week where, since 1981, the event has renewed a commitment to serving all victims of crime, to remember crime victims and survivors, and to stress the importance of leveraging community support to help victims of crime.
Reynolds said Ms. Aguilar bridged the gap between all those in the community suffering from violence.
“She had endless compassion and empathy,” said Reynolds.
Ms. Aguilar passed away with her son Stephen’s case having never been solved. Her husband Oscar died in 2013, and she has three surviving children.
Reynolds said she hopes the organization and the work Ms. Aguilar started continues, but she acknowledged Aguilar was the heart and soul of the entity and leaves a big void.