SORRY NOT SORRY!
Jerk-off Jeffrey’s sob story not ringing true
DISGRACED CNN legal eagle Jeffrey Toobin lied through his teeth during his whiny apology for being caught pleasuring himself during a work meeting, according to National ENQUIRER voice stress analysis tests!
In an interview with CNN’s Alisyn Camerota on June 10, Toobin insisted he’s “tried to become a better person” since the lewd October Zoom call.
But certified voice stress expert Michael Sylvestre, who analyzed Toobin’s apology for The ENQUIRER, called that hogwash!
When Toobin said, “I’ve spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months, trying to be a better person,” he was totally stressed out, said Michael, whose DecepTech Voice Stress Analysis Machine prints out elevated lines on a chart when it detects deception.
“In reviewing the charts, the word miserable has nearly 100 percent stress. While he’s possibly embarrassed, he was not miserable,” added Michael.
Toobin was also fudging when he said, “I am trying to become the kind of person who people can trust again,” according to Michael.
“In just the beginning of the statement, ‘I am trying to become …,’ he is lying,” Michael said. “He has not been someone that his colleagues and the public can place their ultimate trust.”
Toobin, who was axed by The New Yorker and suspended by CNN after the disgusting incident, was also full of hot air when he moaned, “I am trying now to say how sorry I am sincerely, in all seriousness,” Michael said. “Jeffrey is not sorry in any way!” he added. “He may be more embarrassed that he was caught but not genuinely sorry.”
The charts showed another red flag when Toobin declared, “There are no surprises out there … skeleton that’s going to be found,” said Michael.
“He is worried that there are other skeletons in his closet that may be revealed. He has a nervous stutter during the interview, which is unusual for someone who typically speaks clearly,” said Michael.
Body language expert Patti Wood agreed Toobin’s actions showed he was hedging. “When he said, ‘It was something inexplicable to me,’ he claps his hands together as if to magically make what he did disappear,” she said.
“After calling his behavior ‘deeply moronic,’ his hands go into prayer position, showing he prays to be forgiven.
“All through the interview, he flings his hands out, showing an oddly energetic demeanor, and even smiles as if what he did was funny.
“That’s not the contrite body language you typically see in an apology!”