A man is wor­ried about dat­ing in the era of #Me­Too

New Haven Register (Sunday) (New Haven, CT) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane Scared to Date How to Re­spond Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­[email protected]­ators .com.

Dear An­nie: In the era of the #Me­Too move­ment, it scares me to date some­one, be­cause things I say or do could be used against me. How do I feel com­fort­able in the dat­ing world with­out hav­ing the fear that a woman will ac­cuse me of do­ing some­thing in­ap­pro­pri­ate? Dear Scared to Date: As long as you act with re­spect, you have noth­ing to fear. Re­spect, in this con­text, means tak­ing things slowly. Never pres­sure a woman to do any­thing. If your date is tipsy, save that first kiss for another night.

Pay at­ten­tion to non­ver­bal cues and body lan­guage; if you have any doubts, just ask (e.g., “May I kiss you?”). No, that might not be how things hap­pen in the movies, but I prom­ise that it won’t ac­tu­ally ruin the mo­ment. And a lit­tle com­mu­ni­ca­tion can go a long way to­ward mak­ing sure both par­ties are com­fort­able and en­joy­ing the mo­ment. Dear An­nie: I had two in­ci­dents in the past week in which of­fice staff asked in­tru­sive ques­tions con­cern­ing med­i­cal in­for­ma­tion and per­sonal in­for­ma­tion. One was when I was at an of­fice, and the other was over the phone. I re­sponded with, “I would rather not say.” I am a med­i­cal pro­fes­sional, and I know that this was not needed in­for­ma­tion. Both staff mem­bers were huffy af­ter I re­fused to give them the in­for­ma­tion they re­quested. What would be the least of­fen­sive re­ply? It seems that our per­sonal in­for­ma­tion is no longer ours and will be en­tered into com­puter data­bases ev­ery­where. Dear How to Re­spond: The least of­fen­sive re­ply is the one you gave. As you well know from be­ing a med­i­cal pro­fes­sional, of­ten front desk per­son­nel are just do­ing their jobs by ask­ing ques­tions. But that doesn’t mean you have to share de­tails you’re un­com­fort­able shar­ing. It’s wise to be cau­tious when it comes to shar­ing per­sonal in­for­ma­tion, es­pe­cially any­thing that could be used to steal your iden­tity or funds. Dis­clos­ing per­sonal in­for­ma­tion over an un­se­cured phone line or in pub­lic — even in your doc­tor’s wait­ing room — can make you vul­ner­a­ble to fraud. Your short and sweet re­ply is ap­pro­pri­ate, even if not al­ways well-re­ceived.

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