Meating the enemy, and it is us

Even as action in the space of “plantbased meats” (and other meat alternatives) lurches through these early days to a far from certain equilibrium, we have already the certainty of opposing reaction to greet, and “meat” it. We learn that Arby’s, along perhaps with others, and presumably with carnivorous tongue in avaricious cheek, is offering us “meatbased plants.”

I recognize that Arby’s is making a joke — of sorts — and inviting us to laugh.

I would if I could. I can’t, and neither should you.

We all know the famous aphorism: we have met the enemy, and it is us. Now, we again meet the enemy, and it is again us, and meat. Meateating is no joke.

To begin, every dog owner must understand that animals much like the ones mass manufactured, fattened and slaughtered for our gustatory diversions harbor the same, basic emotional propensities as do we.

No controlled trials are required to know that dogs experience love and loyalty, joy and sorrow, contrition, anxiety, fear, pride, and shame. We who call one of “man’s best friends” our personal friend and family member see this on display daily.

Pigs, we are told, are at least as intelligent as the family dog, and probably more so. They presumably understand and experience the incarceration, cruelty and dread of their mass manufacture and slaughter much as would that dog you love. Pause, at least, to consider that.

I say all this not to suggest that eating animals is precluded by the feelings and thoughts of the animals involved. Animals eating animals has always been part of the “natural order.” Rather, I say this simply because it is true, and thus, not a joke, unless you would laugh at your dog being strung upside down by her legs, electrocuted to death, and cut into steaks. I say it, as well, because the way we raise and consume domestic animals is not part of any “natural order.” Hunting for your family dinner yourself is another matter, and so is the family farm.

So, the first rebuttal to Arby’s joke is the most selfevident, because it is literally on display to many of us, every day: it almost certainly puts a measure of gratuitous cruelty on the menu. You can decide you don’t care about the suffering of a species other than your own, but you should not have the option of not knowing. Perhaps I may borrow from medicine: to decide, we must first be informed.

The second rebuttal is that there was a reason bigger than any of our personal and parochial concerns for contriving “plantbased meats” in the first place: people like to eat meat, but mostly have to stop if their children are to inherit a viable planet and a sustainable food supply.

The planet’s capacity to sustain us is in question, and in peril, and without question, meat consumption is a critical, modifiable influence.

Arby’s irreverent humor rather ignores this inexorable imperative. Going the “other way” in this case would be a bit like a cruise ship captain with a cheeky sense of humor carrying “personal sinking devices” (a lead block for each passenger, perhaps, with a waist tie and a water activated light) rather than personal “flotation” devices.

A little funny, maybe, until the water started to rise. Our water is already rising.

Finally, while the single best diet for health might be debated, there is no debate that relative to prevailing norms in the U.S. and much of the world, more whole plants, fewer animal parts and products would be much, much better. The evidence here is diverse, vast, and consistent.

Nobody laughs looking into the imploring eyes of a hungry or thirsty child whose need will go unmet. Grandparents, surely, find little humor in the idea the ample diets they enjoyed will outlive them by little, and run out long before their grandchildren’s needs.

Plantbased meat, and other meat alternatives, whatever the relative merits of each contestant, are responses at the confluence of consumer demand, and a clear and omnipresent danger. Meatbased plants are a joke.

The consequences of callous indifference, however, are nondenominational. The plight of the planet will scorch vegan and carnivore, the jocular and solemn alike, along with everyone in between.

The problem with Arby’s joke, in other words, is that the last laugh … will be on us all.

We learn that Arby’s, along perhaps with others, and presumably with carnivorous tongue in avaricious cheek, is offering us “meatbased plants.”