Poor judgment deserves friend’s forgiveness

Dear Abby: I took exception to your response to “Former Friend in Oregon” (July 1), who vaped marijuana while visiting a friend in the presence of the friend’s 12-yearold future stepdaughter.

The friend made a mistake, for which she apologized profusely. She had flown crosscountry to visit her pregnant best friend, no small thing. Flying can cause both anxiety and nausea, and the woman said she uses vaping to relieve both of those issues. Further, it was legal in that state.

Pregnancy can cause hormones to be out of whack, and the pregnant friend might have been more emotional and reactive than usual. “Former Friend” stated she did not have experience with children. If her judgment was poor, she apologized for it and didn’t try to minimize it.

This incident could have been a teaching tool for the child, referencing bad judgment, forgiveness, value of friendship, etc. Friendships are vitally important. I could not have navigated what life has thrown at me without the support of close friends.

Forgiving in North Carolina

Dear Forgiving: That letter drew a huge response from readers, many of whom expressed similar feelings to yours. They pointed out that marijuana is becoming increasingly legal and normal in our society, and it is a topic that should be openly discussed with the 12-yearold. Consensus was universal that “Former Friend” may have committed a faux pas, but NOT an unforgivable one, and I should not have been so hard-nosed.

Dear Abby: I was married in a double wedding with my twin brother. My husband and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary in three months. My brother and his wife divorced 10 years ago. Our three adult children want us to have a big anniversary celebration, as do my husband and I. My brother says that since it would have been his anniversary too, I’m being selfish and insensitive to his feelings. Our mother agrees! Both said if we have a party, they will not attend.

I think they are the ones being selfish. My husband and I have had our share of hardships, but we worked and talked through them. I feel we deserve this celebration not only for us, but also our kids and friends. Your thoughts?

Silver Anniversary in Arizona

Dear Silver: You are neither selfish nor insensitive. Celebrate your 25th anniversary in any fashion or at any time you and your family choose. It is regrettable that your self-centered twin brother and overly indulgent mother adopted the attitude they have and attempted to make the occasion all about him, but the choice was theirs. Graciously accept their refusal to attend, have the party and enjoy every minute of it.