Ex-girlfriend isn’t finished with man

Dear Abby: I met the love of my life, and I’m planning to marry him. He’s recently divorced after a 25-year marriage. My problem is that his ex wanted the divorce, but now she wants him back. She’s constantly telling him she wants a “booty call.”

They have two grown children, and their daughter is being married soon. His ex is now threatening that if he brings me to the wedding, she will do something crazy. I feel if he doesn’t take me to the wedding he will be highly disrespecting me. He still talks to her even though she has said some nasty things about me. Am I being too sensitive?

Perplexed in the South

Dear Perplexed: When this man’s ex tells him she wants a booty call, how does he respond? If he’s still sexually involved with her, your odds of success with him are zero. He may talk to her because they have children and possibly grandchildren in common. That he would REPEAT her less than complimentary comments to you does not say much for his judgment.

I don’t think you should insist upon attending that wedding.

Dear Abby: My 50-year-old nephew has always used women and was finally caught embezzling $60,000 from one of them. He was arrested and ordered to pay restitution, or he would stay in prison for years. After only two weeks of incarceration, he cried and pleaded with our family and promised he would pay anyone back the money if they would pay his restitution.

My sister was a wreck and came to me. I came up with the money and got a promissory note from my nephew. Long story short, he stuck my sister with every payment. When my sister went bankrupt because of it, I asked if he could at least pay $25 toward what he owed, but he did nothing. My sister finally repaid everything my nephew owed me, and now she expects us all to be one big, happy family.

She has invited me and my husband to come for the holidays, which will include my nephew. I told her I will never again be in the same room with that liar and cheat, so now she’s upset with me! Am I making the right choice? He used all of us to get out of jail, never paid anyone back and is still using women. For that I’m supposed to embrace him with open arms? I think it would be condoning his actions.

Upset Aunt

Dear Aunt: I agree with you about that. Your instinctive reaction to keep your sociopathic nephew at arm’s length (or even further) is healthy. It’s safer to keep people with no ethics at a distance. After what happened, as much as your sister might wish it, you are no longer one big happy family.