New Haven Register (New Haven, CT)
Fathers coaching daughters creates a special bond
Holy Cross girls basketball coach Frank Lombardo learned some valuable lessons coaching his daughter Nicolette, who is now 27 years old, when she was in high school.
Most of those lessons came the hard way, as he and Nicolette sometimes butted heads trying to balance the worlds of basketball and life at home.
Lombardo is taking those lessons and now coaching his younger daughter, Isabella, a sophomore at Holy Cross.
“The first time coaching my daughter, Nicolette, we had some bumps in the road,” Frank Lombardo said. “We would bring practice home and it created tension between us. I have learned a lot since then and now with my younger daughter, Isabella, being a sophomore, it has been going a lot smoother.”
Fathers and mothers across Connecticut coach their children in a variety of varsity sports every year but this season in girls basketball, three of the top 10 teams in the GameTimeCT Poll have fathers coaching their daughters, including the Lombardos at Holy Cross, Tim and Avery Kohs at Mercy and Jason and Emma and Meghan Kirck at Sacred Heart Academy.
The Kircks and Lombardos both won CIAC state tiltes last season and all three teams have a shot at making a run to Mohegan Sun for this year’s championships with SHA in Class LL, Holy Cross in Class L and Mercy in Class MM
There are at least five father-daughter combinations this season in CIAC girls basketball.
They are all working on finding that same balance between the foul line and the dinner table, but all are grateful for the valuable time they get to spend together.
“During practice he is very hard on me because he wants me to be the best player I can be,” Isabella Lombardo said. “My dad stresses hard work and having passion for the game. In the car on the way home from practice, we usually do not talk basketball. We talk about our days at school and what we are having for dinner.”
Avery Kohs is a senior on the Mercy basketball team coached by her father, Tim.
Avery said she’s thankful for the time they get together, realizing most families never have that opportunity.
“I think it has made our relationship a lot closer and I really like it,” Avery Kohs said. “There’s no way I’d have the same relationship with him if I didn’t also play for him. We just get to spend so much more time together and sharing this has created a strong bond.”
Avery said that if basketball is ever brought up at home, it is in passing and her father does a good job being dad at home and coach on the court.
“We really keep basketball at practice. We talk about basketball and the team, but nothing negative at home,” Avery Kohs said. “He is as tough on me as he is on anyone else. He pushes all of us to be our best and that includes me. Our team would not be as good if he wasn’t our coach because of how hard he pushes all of us at practice. He teaches a lot of lessons and is a big storyteller. He has always taught me to work hard at anything you do to get the most of whatever it is you are doing.”
Tim Kohs said he decided when Avery started at Mercy that basketball would stay in the gym, where he treats her like any other player.
“We don’t digest it much at home because I don’t want to talk about it a lot, ” Tim Kohs said. “At practice, that’s a different story. I do have more free reign to yell at her and I try to be hard on her. Then, nobody can say I am treating her differently or I am taking it easy on her. I have high expectations for all of our players. She might get it more than most, but it’s not crazy and she can handle it.”
Nick Dottori is in his first year as the head coach at Amity after being an assistant. His daughter Luciana is a junior on the team.
Getting to know players on a team in a first year as head coach can be challenging, but because of his daughter and having coached some of the kids in AAU, Dottori had a leg up.
“I live in Orange and was always involved and you get to know all the kids and you have different relationship not only with your child but with their friends on the team,” Nick Dottori said. “When I’m coaching Luciana, I can make a joke and use her as an example at practice. We are able to keep it light but I do not treat her any differently than the other players.”
Luciana said playing for her father has been an experience she would not trade.
“I was excited when he got the job and it has worked out well,” Luciana Dottori said. “Having any new coach takes time to get used to for teams, but we are all working well together and having a great season so far. He wants to see me succeed and he wants to see all the players succeed and he pushes me hard to be the best and does the same for everyone on the team.”
The time spent together is the one thing each parent and player pointed to as the best part of being coached by their fathers.
Dottori, Kohs and Lombardo all play other varsity sports and see their fathers much less frequently because of long practices, road games and schoolwork during those season.
“My father and I have a connection during the winter through basketball and how much we enjoy being together,” Isabella Lombardo said. “In the fall and spring I play for another coach, so my father is just a parent watching me play.”
“Isabella is a threesport athlete. In the fall, she practices 5-6:30, I see her for 15 minutes at dinner and then she has to go do homework. I don’t see her much,” Frank Lombardo said. “With basketball, we are bonding on an athletic level and as a parent and child. I am very involved in her life and the time we are getting together is very special.”
While Dottori and Lombardo have more time left, for the Kohs, each game and practice becomes more meaningful as Avery inches towards paying her last game at Mercy.
“You appreciate it more as it winds down,” Tim Kohs said. “It doesn’t seem like a long time has passed between fifth grade and senior year. We are down to a handful of games together and it has gone so fast. It zips by but I am trying to appreciate it more and take a moment here and there to enjoy our time together as we head into the home stretch.”