Boyfriend’s contact with exes raises doubts

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have dated for seven months. We have a good relationship in terms of compatibility. We are both Christian and educated, and we have good professions. We are fun-loving and both of us like to invest and travel. He enjoys my company and says I am the girl with the best qualities he’s ever dated.

But I do have one issue: He stays in close contact with former women he dated. When I asked him about it, he said he cares about other people and likes to keep in touch with them.

I feel uneasy about this. Wouldn’t most women? To me, if you don’t think a relationship is working, you should stop seeing each other so you don’t cause more confusion or stir up more emotion. How should I deal with this? I like this guy a lot and really think we have something going.

Sharing Him In Texas

Dear Sharing Him:

When people end longterm relationships, they don’t all do it in the same way. Some of them have a dramatic blowup and never speak to the person again. Others remain friends for many years.

If you really want a future with him, you may have to accept that he won’t be happy if you try to curtail his social contacts. If you can’t summon up enough self-confidence to manage that, perhaps you should find someone else. Dear Abby: I’m a 68-yearold married man with no close friends. I worked for 35 years in my familyowned bar and restaurant, until they lost it. After that, I worked as an assistant manager in a few fast-food places, then as an assistant manager in a major pharmacy.

At 65, after three knee surgeries and a foot fusion, I retired from working full time. I now work part time for a physical therapy center, mostly to keep busy and make a few bucks. I have no hobbies or major interests. I have a few health issues, which are under control.

I feel lonely most of the time. I know a lot of people and get along with people — I just FEEL lonely. I have no one to talk to who won’t judge me for feeling the way I do. Can you give me any direction of where to turn? A Bit Lonely In The East

Dear Lonely:

You say you are married. Is it a happy marriage? You also have part-time employment. These are things to be grateful for. Your persistent loneliness may be something to mention to your doctors. The problem could be emotional, spiritual, existential or physical, or it may simply be boredom. But the place to start would be a doctor or a spiritual adviser to help you get to the bottom of this.