New Haven Register (Sunday) (New Haven, CT)
How I stopped using my cellphone while driving
I am a smartphone user. For a while, I was a smartphone abuser. Meaning, not only was I overly attached to the device, but I allowed this digital dependence to affect my driving.
When getting in my car, the first thing I would do was to be sure my phone’s Bluetooth was turned on. I needed to be sure I could make and receive phone calls while behind the wheel. I thought this was the safe and responsible thing to do. Handsfree cellphone use. Safe, right? Wrong.
I became a poster child for what is often called distracted driving. I would catch up on phone calls while driving. I told myself I had little time to do this at home or work, so I’d call from the car. Little did I realize that I was paying more attention to my conversations than to the road.
Then text messaging entered the mix. From time to time I would glance at my phone while stopped at red lights to see if anyone had texted me. Especially in the case of my close family members, I wanted to be available and on call. I was concerned that they might worry if I didn’t respond immediately to their text. If I did notice a text, I would dictate a reply to Siri, often with hilariously misspelled or misworded results. After a while, I began to peek at my phone even while driving. I admit it, I was hooked. And I was living dangerously.
As I became more aware of my distracted driving habit, I decided to activate an auto reply to any incoming text messages while behind the wheel. For some reason, that didn’t seem to work for me either.
Alarming statistics of motor vehicle accidents resulting from distracted driving have been reported in recent years. I couldn’t ignore them, but I must have somehow felt immune. I told myself I was being careful. In reality, I was being careless. And just plain stupid.
Then came Labor Day weekend of last year. My wife and I were exiting a narrow parking lot in a little strip mall. As I was about to back out of my parking space I noticed a voice mail on my smart phone. I started to move my car while listening to the message. It was from a friend informing me of another friend’s death, the kind of information that would easily distract anyone. While I was glancing at the phone screen, absorbing the news, slowly inching forward out of the lot, I heard my wife exclaim “Rick!” Then I felt it. I didn’t even see the other car backing out of its space, I was already moving past it, but the guy backed right into the rear side of my car. As it turned out, the damage was extensive because it effected both the rear bumper and the back door. Over $3,000 worth of damage! Nobody was hurt.
I was convinced I wasn’t at fault. I had the right of way. He backed into me. That is what I told the police. That is what I repeated several times, to my wife and to myself. That is what I told the insurance adjuster who was investigating the claim. But all the while, something was bothering me. Even from the time of the incident itself, I silently wondered: Would this have happened if I wasn’t looking at my smart phone? Could I have prevented it had I been paying more attention? Although I was already passing the other driver when he backed up, perhaps a timely blast of the horn might have prevented the mishap. I will never know.
This I do know: when this incident occurred I was already reckless with my cellphone use while driving. And it made me think that it was probably time for me to change the bad habit.
But first I had to face the truth. I needed to get honest with myself. Plus, it took me two weeks to admit to my wife that my cellphone use was problematic and that it may have contributed to that little Labor Day accident. Like any addiction, dependence on smart phones, especially when it interferes with driving, isn’t so easy to give up. It is also highly dangerous, even life threatening, like many addictions. Unlike other addictions, smart phone dependence can be reversed without major withdrawal symptoms. But this cannot happen without honesty and the willingness to admit the problem.
Back to the story. About two weeks after I gave a detailed description of the event to the other driver’s insurance adjuster, after submitting photos of the damage and all the required documentation, the adjuster finally called me with the decision. I remember standing in the aisle of Whole Foods when I answered his call. I couldn’t believe my ears. He informed me that the company decided I was 20 percent at fault! I would have to pay 20 percent of the repair costs. Clearly, I was still being dishonest about the whole thing because I began to politely dispute the decision with him. I protested my innocence. I declared that it is unfair for the company to make me pay for something that was not my fault. I asked him if I had any recourse to dispute the decision. Somehow, I maintained my composure and showed no outright disrespect.
A few days later, I had to follow up with the adjuster. Meanwhile, something in me had shifted. First, I started getting more honest with myself. I began to contemplate putting away my cellphone while driving. Second, I started to feel some empathy with this guy. I wondered what it must be like, day in and day out, to deal with people like me and people who were much angrier and more disrespectful. I thought about having to tell people bad news about their claims. I began to feel what it must be like to stand in his shoes.
Also, in the process of reviewing my role in the mishap, I realized that, strange as it may seem, perhaps the company was right! Maybe I was 20 percent at fault. I recalled the adjuster’s explanation: according to the investigators, there was a space of about 6 feet between his car and mine, enough space for me to have been able to react by sounding my horn, which could have prevented the accident. Now I know, you readers who are more savvy than I are probably saying that I’m giving the company way too much
credit, that this is just another way the company tries to gouge the consumer. That may be true, but in this case they may actually have had a point.
This time, the phone call was much friendlier. I began by admitting to the adjuster that his job must be very hard, having to deliver bad news to anxious consumers. I thanked him for giving my case serious consideration. I believe my message took him aback. He responded by telling me that the company had reconsidered and would only hold me responsible for 10 percent of the repair costs and 10 percent of the rental car fees. By then, I had already resigned myself to pay the 20 percent, so this was good news. And in the end, they never charged me anything for the rental car.
I’m pretty sure he had a prior authorization from his supervisor to lower my copay. Maybe, by some remote possibility, he lowered it on the spot, having heard my declaration of empathy. Either way, I believe my internal process of reckoning with my responsibility for the episode must have generated some good karma.
I had another option all along: I could have disputed the company’s disposition and sent an appeal to the insurance commissioner of my state. That would have taken extra time and lots of hassle. Aside from this, I had become convinced that I had no strong reason to appeal. I was partly in the wrong, maybe 10 percent in the wrong, all because of my unhealthy attachment to my smartphone.
By the time I had that second and last phone call with the adjuster, I had come to
Like any addiction, dependence on smart phones, especially when it interferes with driving, isn’t so easy to give up. It is also highly dangerous, even life threatening, like many addictions.
a firm decision. From then on, I would no longer use my phone during driving. Before turning on the ignition I would shut off my phone’s bluetooth and ringer, I’d even switch from vibrate to silent mode. Next, I would tuck the phone away in my glove compartment. All in the service of doing what all drivers should do: concentrating on the road. I have been enacting this personal rule for more than six months. I feel much safer behind the wheel, and I represent one less driver who creates a hazard out of cellphone use while driving. Not only am I safer now, but I no longer am putting others at risk because of my irresponsible vehicle operation. I put the smartphone in the glove compartment and I do my part for the social weal.
This episode has reminded me of a lesson I must continually reinforce in my thoughts and deeds: When an inner voice prompts me to question whether I am being truthful with myself and others, I do well to pay attention. Only good will result, and the good karma I generate will be long lasting.