Regard for others is a gift of awareness

It happened Monday morning on my way to Enfield from Hamden. As I entered Interstate 91 into the flow of traffic, a speeding car swept around me on my right, zig-zagged across the lanes on my left, and back across to the right, the driver creating a personal travel lane without regard for us drivers who evidently were obstacles in the way. Fortunately, we were all left intact to continue forth in our travels. Sadly, this incident is not unusual. I’m on the highways often and have learned that keeping watch for those zigzagging drivers is part of necessary defensive driving techniques. “I want to see you, oh person behind the wheel, even if to you I am only a vehicle and not a fellow traveler. Truth is, both of our lives are at stake.”

As I left the pharmacy the other day, two other folks were just in front of me. They were engaged in a lively conversation as they pushed the door open, letting it swing shut behind them causing me to jump back to avoid being hit by the door’s rebound. They took no notice of my presence behind them or of the incident they caused as they hurried off to their car. I had seen them as two people enjoying each other’s company but was forced to realize, they had not seen me as a fellow shopper on her way out of the store behind them. This incident, too, is a frequent happening. These days I find I hear more and more people muttering about those with no regard for others.

Here’s a story about what regard for others is like.

On business in downtown New Haven recently, I parked my car at a meter, jumped out and was just about to insert a coin when a someone crossing the street called out, “Wait, wait, don’t do that.” I looked up questioningly and the man said to me, “My car is this one right in front of you. I’m about to leave and there’s still time on the meter. Just pull your car up and take my spot.” Calling out a glad “thank you” to him I did exactly that. This man had eyes to see me, see what I was doing, and the will to make life work well for us both.

To hold regard for others is a gift of awareness. In our Episcopal church season we’ve just celebrated the day of Pentecost, a celebration of the communal gift of the Holy Spirit so that all could see, understand and share in the power of God’s abundantly generous outpouring of love. If I look back at the broad sweep of human history, the most progress for the good of all has been made when we’ve worked together as brothers and sisters who held deep regard for the good of each other. I think of awareness of and regard for others as a truly holy gift expressive of God’s generous love and thus worth cultivating. I think of it as an attribute that can, in fact, change life for the better.