Marriage ceremony more than just a social occasion

Many families are spending the month of September finalizing plans for a long-awaited October wedding. Fall nuptials rival June for both scenery, and good weather.

For years I had worked on wedding rehearsals, often with a coordinator who lined up the bridal party for the procession. I then picked up where the procession ended at the gates to the sanctuary. What I discovered, was that consistently, no one remembered what to do, and the rehearsal had been for naught.

The ceremony became, for me, not just an experience of celebrating, but one of having to direct every step. The solution? Explain the symbols that the wedding party would create for this couple on their special day. The rehearsal changed from, “Do this and stand there,” to “Lead the bride from the secular world into the sacred.” I had been trained with years of theology, why not use it? The wedding parties would remark that they had never appreciated the profound nature of the ceremony, that it had been not just a social occasion, but a spiritual one, as well.

A couple to be joined together is led through the gathering of family and friends reminding them that they did not arrive at this threshold moment alone. The bridal party leads those engaged to the altar, that symbolic mountain reminiscent of Mount Sinai and the Mount of the Beatitudes, set off as sacred as a place of covenant.

Let me illustrate further. A shrine or temple is know in Latin as the fanum, so anything outside of it is pro-fanum, or profane, that is, secular, outside the temple. We move symbolically from the world into eternity, and the procession is that journey of life toward the sanctuary, the symbol of Heaven. The lobby at the entrance is called the narthex, a Greek word denoting the giant fennel stalk in which Prometheus conveyed fire from Heaven to Earth. When anyone steps into room, it is a place of illumination, a moment when seeking the meaning of life we are ignited with the beauty of truth.

How fitting to pass through this into a setting of celebration. We have come to a holy place to grow in understanding and community witness to eternal truths. The groom awaits the bride at the entrance to the sanctuary, that is, he stands at the gate of Heaven. Unlike the funeral, where the coffin lies in state before the sanctuary, the couple actually enters into that earthly symbol of paradise. Personalized intercessions, including remembrances of the deceased, speak to the Catholic belief in the Communion of the Saints. We hold that at the celebration of Mass, both the Church here on earth and the church suffering in Purgatory, as well as the Church triumphant in Heaven are present in a mystical way.

I always encourage couples to prepare best for marriage by praying together and growing in appreciation for the deeper reality of what they are entering. I have come to appreciate that those who have a role in weddings are more than a reunion of friends and family. They are ministers in a profound moment drawing people into a substantial experience of the divine.

Contributed photo The Rev. Michael J. Dolan is president of Northwest Catholic High School.