No contest!
Newser can’t match Ryan’s regimen
I NOW KNOW the real reason Mitt Romney picked Paul Ryan to be his running mate.
Forget Ryan’s conservative credentials and Midwestern charm. Mitt wanted a guy with some muscle.
How do I know this? Well, I don’t actually.
But after trying the grueling boot-camp style workout known as P90X that Ryan does regularly, I do know this:
In Ryan, Romney has a hard-bodied sidekick who could step in during the most violent of press scrums.
In fact, I’d bet 50 bucks Ryan has harder abs, bigger biceps and better cardio than any VP candidate in history.
On a steamy day last week, I tested out P90X’s vaunted array of muscle-burning exercises in a park along the East River River.
Bottom line: It left me more exhausted than a congressman after an all-day filibuster.
The workout I chose, “Chest and Back,” started out easy enough.
P90X guru Tony Horton led me through a series of stretches and warmup exercises.
As soon as I learned that the routine lasted more than 50 minutes, I cringed.
We started with one minute of pushups, as many as you can do. I knocked out 30 or so and was feeling pretty good about myself. But right after I stood up, I burped up the egg salad sandwich I scarfed down an hour earlier.
Note to readers: Avoid egg salad sandwiches before doing P90X.
Next was a minute of wide-grip pullups, which left my back and shoulders feeling like they were on fire. The 85-degree heat wasn’t helping things, either.
Then came 40 seconds of military pushups followed by 40 seconds of reverse-grip pull-ups. Already, I wanted to quit. After the next 15 minutes, an endless mix of pushups and pullups with only the briefest of breaks in between, I could barely raise my arms.
Horton instructed me to pick up my dumbbells, which brought on a wave of anxiety. All I had were my wife’s dinky, bright blue five-pound weights.
As soon as I grabbed them and starting doing the “back flys,” a guy walked over who looked like he had spent literally every second of every day working out.
“C’mon man,” said Pierre Bonaparte, a 52-year-old fitness nut. “You gotta use something heavier than that.”
My ego deflated and my body shot, I struggled through the next few exercises.
By the time I got to the “dive-bomber pushups,” a movement that mimics swooping under a fence, I was ready to call it quits.
That’s when a burly guy named Chuck in a sleeveless T-shirt walked over.
“You look like you’re humping the ground,” he said. That’s it. I’ve had enough. Mr. Ryan, you can have your New Age workout. I’m going to stick to playing soccer.