Not funny, Honey

Reality TV and parents have both made a big Boo Boo by exploiting a 7-year-old

It’s child abuse. While about 3 million viewers have been laughing at the shenanigans of 7-year-old beauty pageant contestant Alana Thompson, aka the Honey Boo Boo Child, the makers of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” are laughing all the way to the bank. So are her seemingly dimwitted parents, who preen on TV about how they pump her full of energy drinks and junk food so she’ll say stupid things like, “A dolla makes me holla!” and “My momma weighs the most in the family because she’s fat!”

Alana is joined on the show by her mother, June Shannon; her father, Mike Thompson; and her three older sisters, who run around the family’s hometown in rural McIntyre, Ga., playing with pigs and getting into all sorts of trouble. The Thompsons originally gained fame appearing on the only slightly less offensive TLC show “Toddlers & Tiaras,” which follows the lives of child beauty pageant contestants and their families.

She’s a star now. The Honey Boo Boo Child is on everyone’s radar, from your next-door neighbor to President Obama — who she endorsed, by the way, during an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

But she’s famous for things like going on family trips to the local dump, where they “shop” for clothes and home furnishings — after brushing off the maggots.

Look, I’m all for reality shows because the bad behavior they showcase is pretty entertaining, and that includes “Honey Boo Boo” — if you can get past the part about making fun of a clueless 7-year old.

It works because there’s no end to the people who want to go on TV and make asses out of themselves. And that’s the point. Most of the dopes who go on reality shows know they are likely to become a laughingstock. As viewers, it’s our right to laugh at how they fight, struggle to speak English or eat pig vomit, because in almost every other case these people are old enough to understand what they’re doing.

All little Alana Thompson knows is that she’s getting lots of attention, something every 7-year old craves almost as much as sugar.

‘TODAY’ GETS CURRY-ED AWAY

As of Friday, it’s been exactly nine weeks in a row that “Good Morning America” has crushed its NBC foe, “Today,” in total viewers, 4.9 million to 4.3 million.

While ABC News execs say they are thrilled to be on top, some worry about their crosstown rivals — as many of them are former co-workers.

“It’s a small industry, and frankly hard to watch the wheels come off that show,” said a high-ranking network official. “I’ve worked with a ton of those people over there, and I worry about them. No one knows what’s going to happen when the other shoe drops.” So how did “Today” get broken? Two things: NBC brass humiliated Ann Curry (r.) in June, and “GMA” stepped up their game, beating “Today” for the first time in 16 years.

Let’s be honest: Curry is a great newswoman, but she was lame as a morning show co-host. And that’s fine; it takes qualities far more imperceptible than talent and skill to succeed at that hour.

But Curry is one of the most incisive journalists on TV and commands respect, especially from those who know her best.

That’s why her shoddy treatment at the hands of NBC News executives, including “Today” executive producer Jim Bell and NBC News boss Steve Capus, appears to have — at least in part — turned off viewers and left the longtime NBC News powerhouse playing second fiddle to “GMA.”

OPRAH PLAYS A ‘FAVORITE’

Is Oprah Winfrey brilliant, desperate or both? Because it seems even she is not above bribery.

Just as it seemed the former daytime queen had run out of ammunition to fight off low ratings (for her entire OWN cable network!), Winfrey resurrected her “Favorite Things” extravaganza. This is big. The show was always one of the most-watched editions of “Oprah” when it was in syndication and featured hundreds of screaming women convulsing in hysterics and tears as Oprah showered them with a collection of cool stuff — presumably to give as gifts for the holidays.

So when “Oprah’s Favorite Things” show airs as a twohour special next month on OWN — with home viewers given a chance to get in on the action — at least for that day the canny media mogul will only have to worry about the other 22 hours of low-rated programming she’s selling.