Daze Mothers’

Hollywood’s worst moms make porn tapes, steal and enable their kids’ bad behavior

For every Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie whose arguably perfect parenting can make other moms feel like a failure, there’s an actress who lost custody of her kids or a “Teen Mom” with a porn tape. Here are 10 famous moms who will make you feel like Mother of the Year.

BROOKE MUELLER:

Winning? Charlie Sheen’s ex lost custody of their 4-year-old twins May 2 after Children and Family Services deemed her L.A. home unfit for kids. The 35-year-old has been in rehab 18 times for prescription drug abuse. She voluntarily checked herself into the UCLA Medical Center May 3 for help. Maybe the 19th time’s the charm?

FARRAH ABRAHAM:

Making a sex tape with porn star James Deen when you’ve got a 3-year-old is bad, but bringing your baby girl to the negotiating table for the graphic “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom” hits a new low. The overexposed star of MTV’s “Teen Mom” was also caught kissing lingerie-clad girls last January, and got a DUI in April, all at the ripe old age of 21.

PAMELA COX BRYANT:

Kobe Bryant claims his ungrateful mother is taking foul shots against his fortune. TMZ reports that the Los Angeles Laker offered

to buy his mom a new house in Vegas, but she allegedly demanded an extravagant mansion. “When u give Give GIVE and they take Take TAKE at wat point do u draw a line in the sand? #hurtbeyondmeasure” Kobe tweeted on May 4. Now he’s suing his mom for allegedly stealing more than a million dollars’ worth of his basketball memorabilia and selling it to Goldin Auctions for a $450,000 advance.

KRIS JENNER:

The Kardashians’ momager and self-proclaimed “Queen of F--king Everything” has been slammed for selling out her family. Now a number of new “tell-all” books are airing the matriarch’s dirty laundry. A former nanny claims Jenner threw foul-mouthed temper tantrums and teased a young Khloe about her weight. Worse, her late husband’s leaked diary alleges she beat Kim and had an affair with a soccer player.

DINA LOHAN:

Where to begin? Mama Lohan tells “E! News” her daughter has had “a crazy five years.” Seemingly enabling LiLo’s drug and alcohol addictions by partying with her, not to mention blabbing about her troubled offspring’s exploits to the tabloids, certainly hasn’t helped.

COURTNEY LOVE:

The Hole front woman is such a hot mess that her daughter Frances Bean Cobain filed a restraining order against her in 2009 because she was reportedly a drug-addicted conspiracy theorist whose hoarding killed their pets. Yikes. Love’s estranged offspring with late rocker Kurt Cobain has also begged for her mother to be banned from Twitter after her online

rants.

TAN MOM: Patricia Krentcil isn’t ready to give up her moment in the sun. The over-bronzed Jersey mom recently beat charges that she brought her 5-year-old into tanning beds with her last year. Now leatherface is soaking up whatever attention she can get: Releasing a terrible pop single, posing topless on a beach, and threatening to make a “hotter” sex tape than Farrah Abraham.

MICKIE WOOD:

As if putting your baby in beauty pageants wasn’t bad enough, Wood, mother of “Toddlers & Tiaras” star Eden Wood, is accused of overworking her little princess by an estranged former manager. A new book says Wood drove her 6-year-old to rehearse for eight hours straight, and gave her so much sugar, Red Bull and espresso that the kid’s teeth are rotting.

SHIRLEY MACLAINE:

The beloved actress chose her career over her child, according to daughter Sachi Parker, whose recent book “Lucky Me: My Life With — and Without — My Mom, Shirley MacLaine” claims she was an absentee mother. Parker told “20/20” that sometimes the closest she could get to her mom was watching her movies on airplanes.

JOAN CRAWFORD:

When it comes to dysfunctional parenting, Mommie Dearest is the mother of ’em all. Her adopted daughter Christina Crawford immortalized her childhood abuse in the book and film “Mommie Dearest” starring Faye Dunaway as her ax-wielding alcoholic mother Crawford. That sordid tale continues with Off-Broadway’s “Surviving Mommie Dearest,” running through

Mother Mother’s s Day.ay. Day.