Sex RATED
Here’s the app every single guy in NYC fears
If he tells you he’s great in the sack, why not consult with previous customers and see if they were, well, satisfied.
The mobile app Lulu let’s women do just that — giving ex-girlfriends, old hookups and female pals the power to anonymously rate and review any guy in their social network. In the six months since its launch, Lulu has come to dominate sorority gab-fests, brunch banter and cocktail hours across the city, resulting in tears, jeers and downright hysterics for the guys unwittingly reviewed.
Users can spill the beans on everything from a guy’s dancing skills to his manscaping habits, awarding points for sex drive or ambition or deflating scores with snarky hashtags including #SketchyCallLog, #OwnsCrocs and #Can’tBuildIkeaFurniture.
At first, spotting old flames from cherished relationships or cringeworthy sexcapades is pure fun. Lulu user Lana, who spoke on the condition that we mask her identity because she didn’t want to come across as a stalker, found it “hilarious” until she stumbled on an ex-boyfriend’s profile, which she claims was surprisingly accurate. “One girl called him cheap, which is pretty mean,” she says. “But I agreed with it.”
Lulu trawls Facebook to find guys — meaning an old college fling or a random dude from the office might appear beside a total stranger or even a boldfaced name. But star power doesn’t guarantee a high-ranking review: Cameron Winklevoss,
the 31-year-old entrepreneur who ironically claims to have invented social media-based dating (as detailed in “The Social Network”), has a mediocre rating of 7 out of 10. According to a former hookup, Winklevoss is a “man child” and “mama’s boy” who gives the “world’s worst massages” — earning a lackluster 6.5 for what he’s like between the sheets. Winklevoss did not respond to requests for comment for this piece.
Lulu founders Alexandra Chong and Alison Schwartz came up with their ladies-only, sex-centric version of Yelp.com over brunch with girlfriends. As the conversation flowed from beauty tips to gynecological inquiries, Chong had a eureka moment. “It struck me how open and willing everyone was to share their experiences with guys and relationships,” she says. “If one guy had joined that table, the entire dynamic would have changed.”
Maintaining a women-only environment — regulated by barring male Facebook users from signing up — is the key to Lulu’s success. But being excluded from all this public, profane and often embarrassing girl talk has riled up more than a few of the nearly 2 million men featured on Lulu.
Sean Glass, the owner of Win Records, was taken aback when he saw his overall score of 6 — and that more than one hookup labeled him #F—dMeAndChuckedMe.
“I can’t believe people say that,” says Glass, 28. “I’ve never f— and chucked anybody. I’ve just had sex with girls without it turning into a relationship. And #GoneByMorning is not true. I’ve very rarely slept over at anyone’s apartment.”
When J.J. O’Brien, the 30-yearold founder of events company hem/\haus, heard that three women had reviewed his profile on Lulu, giving him an average rating of 9, he shared his critical success with his business school buds at a wedding in Hawaii. One of them did not take it well.
“One kid in my class was a model,” says O’Brien. “He was so pissed when he found out I had a higher rating than him. He was furious that there was nothing he could do about it.” The wedding party quickly turned into “four guys huddled around their phone looking at Lulu.”
Guys aren’t left out entirely. Chong created a complementary male-only app, LuluDude, where men can view their rating, add their own has+htags (listed in blue to distinguish from the pink ones added by women), update their status (Slaying Mad P— or Bored of Booty Calls, for example), choose which Facebook photo appears as their Lulu profile pic or simply delete their account altogether. But many guys are offended they have to jump through hoops to delete their profile in the first place.
“Why am I opting out of a system I never opted into?” asks 25-year-old Bushwick software engineer Chris Clouten, who claims he would dump any girl who reviewed him on Lulu. “What if I didn’t want to be involved at all? There’s not even a notification that I’m on it.”
Still, Clouten hasn’t nixed his account. “If people want to say bad things about me on the Internet anonymously, that says more about them than it does about me,” he says.
Men aren’t the only ones objecting to the objectification. After girls’ initial bursts of amusement, giggles, and casual research, some Lulu users have grown skeptical about all the site’s anonymous criticism.
“Most girls just use it as a therapy session if they had a bad experience,” says Lana, who claims many users indirectly diss their fling’s manhood by withholding the #Big.Feet hashtag. “They’ll rip the guy apart, and it makes them feel better.”
But Chong, 31, insists that Lulu is about love not hate, alleging that many male critics haven’t even seen the app for themselves.
“This is not a man-bashing place,” says Chong, who claims more than 50% of guys who have their profiles removed sign up for LuluDude within a week. “Once they understand how Lulu works, they see how it can benefit them.”
Speaking of benefits, some girls say the app can be incredibly useful. Rachel, a 22-year-old college graduate from Nashville who wished to remain anonymous because she’s on the job hunt, took advantage of Lulu after hitting it off with a guy who contacted her on Facebook. “I ended up finding out that he had hooked up with somebody three days beforehand, and that he was already romantically involved with other people,” she says.
She also noticed the hashtag #StillLovesHisEx, which made her even more suspicious.
“One week later,” says Rachel, “he was in an official Facebook relationship with someone else.” Who was the new girl? “His ex.”