THE TOP TEN

Highlights of the Christie presser:

10. Shocking revelation of corruption in New Jersey. 9. Blamed the whole thing on getting drunk with Dennis Rodman. 8. More profanity than “The Wolf of Wall Street.” 7. Claimed his heart was broken, but acknowledged it might be obesity-related. 6. Said he wasn’t a bully, then he put Chris Matthews in a headlock. 5. Christie’s claim he had no idea a bridge connected N.J. and N.Y. 4. An appearance by the fake sign language guy. 3. Boldly took responsibility by blaming everyone but himself. 2. Announced plans to execute his uncle. 1. Interrupted press conference to smoke crack.