EW CAP’N, MY CAP’N!
First Cos, now Kangaroo: Icon tainted by perv reveal
Alleged disgusting offcamera antics are trashing the memories of my favorite childhood TV shows. Like millions, I’ll never be able to watch an episode of “The Cosby Show” again without also remembering the taint that Bill Cosby has brought down upon his legacy.
Now kiddie icon Captain Kangaroo is in the crosshairs. A new book describes his lewd behavior behind the scenes with his sidekick, Mr. Green Jeans.
The late Bob Keeshan played Captain Kangaroo on the popular children’s program from 1955 to 1985. According to “Last Stage Manager Standing” by longtime CBS stage manager Daniel B. Morgan, Keeshan, before going on stage, used to flash his sidekick, Hugh “Lumpy” Brannun, aka Mr. Green Jeans.
Morgan writes how one day “Lumpy” responded by taking things a step further.
“Unbeknownst to the little viewers, Cap’n Bob would take it upon himself to take out his ‘weenie,’ put a pencil under it, and wave it at Lumpy,” Morgan reports.
He goes on: “Then the Captain would come through the door, greet everyone, and hang the keys on the key hook. On with the show! So now, at the end of the program (which probably included credits), Bob was backstage reading the final voice-over ... (and) during Bob’s final read, Lumpy pulled out his penis and began to pee on Bob’s leg. Thus another pee-on story. HR would never allow this to happen today.”
Eww.
The USA Network hopes you won’t know the difference between a TV show and a commercial — until it’s too late.
A slick bait-n-switch seems designed to keep viewers in front of the screen during the ads. USA last week rolled out special commercials for its Video On Demand channel — starring characters from a show that the viewer is currently watching. The move was first reported in the industry trade magazine Adweek.
In the ads — which, for now, appear only in VOD playback of the sitcom “Playing House,” a comedy starring Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair — the women appear as their characters, Maggie and Emma. The two trade witty banter about products from Toyota, Samsung and Comcast (which owns NBC Universal, which in turn includes USA Network).
“You call your car Cam?” wonders a jealous Maggie (Parham) as her best friend Emma (St. Clair) chats with the onboard computer in her new Toyota Camry. Snore. Video on demand has become one of those great leaps in technology. It offers viewers a chance to see network and cable shows on their own time.
Unlike DVRs, which allow people to fast-forward through commercials, TV networks puts ads in VOD programming and then disable the fastforward function.
They do this for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, the networks want to make money, so they sell ads. They also want to boost their ratings and keenly factor in how many viewers watched a show using an alternative method like VOD.
But this twist is a sneaky way to trick viewers into watching advertising. The move comes at a time when video-on-demand users have already become comfortable fast-fowarding through advertising on their DVRs. Customers also enjoy not dealing with ads with programming from Netflix or Amazon.
They call this a “custom ad experience.” Ultimately, though, it’s not a game-changer. It’s just boring background noise from marketing people who believe they’ve invented sliced bread.
We’ll pass.