BY GOD IT WAS AWFUL

Hillary Clinton looked like she was going to die, President Obama looked ready to kill, Jimmy Carter looked depressed, and George W., draped in plastic, looked like he was longing to get back behind his beloved shower curtain so he could paint yet another self portrait of himself in the bathtub. (No, I swear.)

As a less-than-full National Mall of supporters cheered, nearby crowds of protesters were turning violent and being arrested.

Welcome to the most bizarre, divisive inaugural in history, an inaugural which was as surreal as Bush’s bathtub self-portraits.

President Trump told us how wretched our country is, as he promised to wipe out radical Islam, even as six clerics offered up prayers.

The internet dubbed them a diverse clerical group despite five of them being Christian, albeit of different denominations (thus the “diversity”). They were joined by one token Jew. Absent from the prayer offerings were representatives of the other main religions in this country.

Among the six clerics was the first woman to offer an inaugural prayer, Paula White, a televangelist, who helped swing the Pentecostal vote in Trump’s direction.

The President, who never seemed particularly religious before, other than collecting and storing bibles that fans send him, was given a pre-inaugural family service by Rev. Robert Jeffress.

You know Jeffress, of the new $130 million mega-church, right? He’s the guy who called the Catholic Church a “pagan religion,” Mormonism a “cult,” and Islam a false religion. Or maybe the homophobe pastor told the germaphobe President that most gays have AIDS.

Gold bless America.