BOYS WILL BE JERKS

Conversation overheard between the GOP’s Rep. Buddy Carter and Rep. Blake Farenthold at the all-you-caneat buffet table:

“Either these little girls start to do what we big boys want, or we’ll just have to go across the hall and snatch a knot in their a--.”

“You go, bro! I’m so in. I can’t wait to snatch a knot in their a-- —if I knew what that meant.”

“Why son, it means that we’ll go over to their House and inflict some serious physical harm on these Senate bitches.”

“Yeah, whup their a-es but GOOD, Buddy!”

“No, Blake, I get to whup whup Senator Lisa Murkowski. You get to do the other thing.”

“What other thing, Buddy?”

“You get to shoot Senator Dragon Ladies Shelley Moore Capito and Susan Collins. Remember you already challenged them to a duel the other day?” “Oh right.” “Next time, though, Blake, do me a favor and stand away from the buffet table, and stop wearing footsie pajamas before you actually challenge a woman to a duel. They’ll laugh at you. Again.”

“OK, Buddy. But what do I do if one of ’em accepts and then shoots me first, or beats the s--out of me as Jack Reed said, or worse, snatches a knot in my ass?”

“Well, for God’s sake, then duel before we repeal Obamacare.” “But why, Buddy?” “Because without health care you’d just have to bleed to death. Not pretty.”

“Damn. That’s strict.”

“Boys rule, Blake, boys rule!”